I relapsed....again

I stayed sober for 3 months and I felt amazing. I’ve been going through a divorce so ive had a lot of lows. Still stayed sober. I turned 40 and decided to have some drinks, be responsible with drinking. Now i want a drink when i wake up. …i know I’m depressed and going through this divorce but I’ve never have been in this mind frame to just drink to get rid of my thoughts. I need help, guidance and a friend :orange_heart:


Welcome back! Plenty of friends here. :people_hugging: Sorry to hear about the relapse. I’ve shared a lot over the years about how important it was for me when I truly learned that there was difference between my drinking reality and the fantasy I had of drinking…that it relaxed me or was a treat, or was needed for a celebration or that it was adding something positive to my life. It was the exact opposite. It was taking slowly from me, and over the years taking more and more. It was sucking my soul and ruining my health and relationships and messing big time with my mental health and head. Even knowing all that, it was still the biggest challenge of my life stopping drinking.

Have you read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace? I found it really helpful…also Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whitaker. Both helped adjust my thinking about alcohol and drinking and life.

More guidance…I found it super helpful to keep a list on my phone of what drinking really offered me and what I wanted out of life. When I was thinking I needed a drink to celebrate or drown my sorrows or fill in the blank…I read that list and reminded myself of what drinking really was bringing to my life. Here is some of it …maybe it will ring true for you too…

*No hangovers ever!!

*Treating my husband with respect and no drunk fighting

*Self respect gets a major boost

*No more internal conflict about drinking and if/how can I cut down or stop

*Restful restorative uninterrupted sleep!!! (This took a long while!)

*A sense of peace and calm

*No more embarrassment and shame because of my behavior

*No wondering what I did or how I hurt husband or others while drunk

*No treating people I love, including myself, poorly while drunk

*No drunk driving and possibly hurting self or others or jail

*No upset stomach from drinking

*No anxiety and near constant agitation when hungover

*No dark suicidal thoughts

*No shame around neighbors if I was loud and yelling or loud music

*No blackouts ever

*No overwhelming shame at my behavior

*No oversharing with strangers while drunk or making plans I will need to cancel

*Not having to check my phone in the middle of the night to delete social media posts - no drunk texting/emails/posts/calls

*Not be bloated and puffy and look haggard

*Major pride in myself and a boost in self esteem

*No hangovers ever again (this definitely needs to be on here twice!)

*No more excuses or lies or thievery

*Peace of mind

Keep working toward healing yourself. You are so worthy of a healthy life. :heart::people_hugging:


The first thing I had to learn how to do was to not drink between the time I got up (I did drink in the mornings on weekends) and the time I went to bed. AA meetings and counseling helped fill my days.

Even in uncomfortable or uncertain situations like divorce, our alcoholic thinking tries to convince us that booze helps. In fact, it is the major impediment to dealing with life successfully. Know this, every little thing is gonna be alright and you’ll be able to stop drinking now.

Blessings on your house :pray: as you begin your journey. Welcome to Talking Sober.


Maybe try ameeting helped me through my divorce wish you well


i know how you feel. thinking we can drink like normal people, but it isn’t the case. I’ve done the same in the past. so so difficult.

You’ve gone 3 months before and you can do it again! Keep reminding yourself of this. Stick to this community, it’s such a great reminder of why we chose to be sober or why we have to be