Roland, thanks for your honest share. 90 days was huge. I can see that you’re disappointed in yourself. You’ve been trying very hard.
I can tell you that I have about 20 3-month periods under my belt. Ouch! Just thinking about that makes me sick. Anyways, I don’t judge you. Addiction is a trap. Getting out for me has been a long and tedious process with many dead ends.
And this, to me, was the key. I notice that all the very successful members on TS DON’T DO THIS. They rarely crave and glamorize their DOC. For me to stop being a chronic relapser, I must act the same. It’s not enough for me to be physically sober. I must also demonstrate being sober of mind. And for me, that couldn’t wait until I had a certain number of days under my belt. Custody of my mind had to happen right here, right now.
If you have never read Allen Carr’s, The Easy Way to Control Alcohol, now would be a good idea to do so. Please
When I started my sober quest at the end of September I promised myself one thing… Me getting sober is the most important thing… “FIRST THINGS FIRST” I have repeated this so many times the last couple of weeks. I promised myself to first reach the end of the year sober and If I accomplish that….Then I will address all my other issues and start making plans for it.
And I deed keep my promise, I did stay sober till the end of the year those 90 days, but then it stopt…
This is where my ‘’Addicted me” come around and said: ‘’Very well done Roland, you kept your promise and know its time to celebrate” and slapt me in the face hard.
I shouldend have made this promise, I should have promise myself to do it one day at a time.
And @Mno to answer your question… How did I prepared for the holiday… the same as I did one week before when I was on a holiday by myself… but this was without being around alcohol and other people. You made me realize my sober tool box needs a upgrade, an upgrade for 2022.
I am not sure yet how to do this.
The easiest one is to add some books to my collection like @KevinesKay advised.
But like @Thirdmonkey said… I have to ask my self a couple of serious questions.
I think every moment of “temporary insanity” gives us an opportunity to look inwards. What was the trigger? Why did I cave? What could I have done differently etc… Use your experience as a learning tool to avoid it happening again.
If you set a milestone and want to reward yourself, rather do it with something healthy or a spoil, ie a hot rock massage, a new boy toy, something cool for your man cave etc… Only you will know.
You got to 90 days before, you’ll get there again. (and beyond) You’ve got this.
Dont you wish when we are tempted to drink that we could tap directly into the horrible feeling of a hangover and the morning after? Maybe then we wouldnt pick one up.
I want to thank you all for reaching out tome in those dark 2 days after my relapse.
I feel much better at the moment. All your advice an experiences are priceless and made me realize that TS is the best Sober Tool I have a the moment. And it made me realize that I should make use of it more often.
Not only when i am feeling good, but especially when I am feeling shit. If I had realize this 1 week before than my relapse probably didn’t happen.
But it did happen, I have to move on stop looking back!
None of these goals are lost. None. Starting right this minute, you recommit to these goals and move forward. Yes, you made a poor choice and yes, today is a fresh day, and you have gained some valuable lessons and strengthened your commitment to your self.
I too remember once celebrating my sobriety with drinks, you are not alone.
Let your disappointment be fuel for your sober journey. Bookmark this thread and read it when you think next, 'Oh, just one drink with dinner, what could it hurt. ’ Cuz we know how that story ends. You learned, you grow, you recommit.
I love everything in Sassy’s reply. It’s time to move forward, because you are worth it. I’m glad you see a need to share more, to ask for help… none of us can do this alone. It’s tough enough at times even though we have these lovely folks to lean on. You’ve been though a lot of anxiety in the past months. Having a parent go through open heart surgery is terrifying. I’m happy you shared that with us. But we have to share the little details sometimes, too… those things that seem so insignificant that you may be ashamed to tell anyone. Well, they’re not insignificant. It’s those small things that bother us, that if not nipped in the bud can bring us straight to that first drink. We love you, Roland. I can’t tell you enough how happy I am that you’re here.
3 steps forward and two steps behind is still moving forward. That is what I believe a relapse can be in recovery if you learn from it.
You’ve learned and now…move forward!
have an amazing sober day Roland!
