I relapsed so this is day one again

I was nearly 2 months sober and relapsed. It was bad. I was running out in my family just to drink. My child was upset and i didnt care because i wanted my fix. Me and my partner nearly killed each other. Just dont know why everything goes so well and then it falls to shit. I just need some support. This is day one again and im so ashamed of myself.

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I dont have much experience to give advice but too fell off the wagon the other day. I know how shitty you feel too. For me, i decided to write down all those shitty feelings and i also made a list of thanks too. I will read it all the next time im thinking about picking up a drink.

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I’m so sorry for the hurt and pain you and your family are feeling. Alcoholism is a demon- A nasty one and it takes time, persistence, love… So much love from yourself for yourself and the will to get better. And I believe in you that this time you will find that strength. I tried many times and failed before I finally got clean. Most of those times, I couldn’t even make it a week.

I don’t know if this applies to you but alot of those times that I replased it was because I hadn’t equipped myself with the appropriate amount of physical and emotional and mental support. There is help out there for you and I didn’t know that.

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One thing I tell myself when I think about relapsing is “Don’t give up on yourself. You are worth a life of peace and quiet.”

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That is 100% the reason. For me, to get sober I had to figure out why. I could not do it on my own. I had to find a program of recovery. I started with AA and now do Recovey Dharma. Do you do anything like that to help you?

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Perhaps some AA meetings might help. I’m not saying you need to go all in on the program but just a place to go when you are feeling like going out to drink…go to a meeting instead. You don’t have to share, you don’t have to get a sponsor and do the steps, just go and listen. After a few weeks of doing that you can de use if you want to continue or not. But in the meantime you have a place to go that isn’t drinking!!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!

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Failing one day in two months at the beginning is not a disaster in my opinion. It happened to me too but the day after I was back on set and with even more willing. And I didn’t count it day 0, I counted day 61! Let’s keep it on!

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This is great Kristy…you could be a motivational speaker! You talk so much sense, thank you :heart:

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What sort of outside help have you sought for your recovery?

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Thank you everyone for the advice. I have had a tough weekend but im still sober. Riddled with guilt and shame. I know where i went wrong. I stopped putting the work in and it crept up quickly. I will keep checking in here and work my ass off. Thanks again to everyone who took the time to comment❤

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Even when we are falling flat on our face, we are still moving forward. Someone said that - I believe it.

The fact you came here and wrote what you wrote, says that you are moving forward.

When friends try to lose weight, and get down on themselves for failure at the end of the week, I remind them that it didn’t take a week to break it. It won’t take a week to fix it.

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I was sober 4 days don’t let one slip up ruin it. Tomorrow is a new day xx

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