I hate this, but honesty is more important than embarrassment. Last night my brother asked me to watch a movie with him. I was not in the mood for him to guilttrip me to watch a movie, so I simply said yes. One movie I can/could live with. But then I started watching a another movie. Which I see as a relapse. This morning I had an absolute fuck it attitude and even watched some youtube. I am scared I’ll be a chronic relapser. I don’t want that. I know what the trigger was and usually is. My brother watching a movies downstairs. So I hid the TV cable with permission from my mom. He can watch tv upstairs, but he refuses, I wonder if he’ll still refuse
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Hey man.im sorry you feel you relapsed. Can I add hopefully with out seeming like a ass here. But why is it ok for you to take a hide the remote from your brother and make him watch tv upstairs? He’s not the one with the problem, and even if he maybe does that’s not for you to decide. I’m just saying this because I don’t take people’s beer or cocaine and go hide if somewhere else so I can’t see them do it. I either take control of my actions and walk away. You are the one who chose to sit down with him yesterday, you could of said no even if you though he was going to guilt trip you. You knew what u were getting yourself into… You have to stay accountable you cant take this out on your brother buddy. Much love, not trying to sound like a ass
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Preach! 
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Hey Jan, dont beat yourself up man, technology is really hard to stay away from nowadays. Just brush yourself off, and do your best today. You got this man i know your strong.
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What do you like in watching movies?
What do you like in you tubes?
You certainly getting something from it and that’s why you go there. Find the needs you have that those activities answer to, and you could try to find from there other kind of activities to deal with your needs.
You can’t just remove something and not replace it with something, because you will always be looking for the only thing you know to comfort your need. When you feel like « using » , ask yourself what does this envy is telling you about the underlying needs you might have at that moment. Only then you might be able to know why you are doing what you are doing.
Keep searching.
Hope you be well
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Well, to be honest, I’m petty. I can’t stand that he can do anything he wants downstairs, but he won’t allow me to do anything. I let him bully me to have me allow everything he does because he would only live with us for one more month. Yesterday he decided, on his own, that he was gonna cancel his new home and live with us for 8 more months. So I guess it’s revenge kinda and also just to avoid triggers
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I needed to hear these words, thanks
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Max 1 movie per day.
Only YouTube if necessary or for music.
No #just-for-fun on TS.
And that’s about it. The rest is not allowed
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