I restarted my timer

I didn’t think this would happen… I’m so mad at myself. I gave in. My only excuse was that I was tired of all of the things I had been dealing with these past few weeks. All of the fighting and stress and worry and just feeling alone, I just wanted the feelings to go away. I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t plan for it to go this far. I hate myself. Why can’t I be normal? :cry::sob: Will God forgive me? I’m messed up so much. I can’t bear to look at my timer it makes me sick.

5 Likes

Don’t apologize or be angry at yourself. You are doing your best every day to fight this. Forgive yourself and get back up and start again. Is there anyone you can turn to in times of stress and loneliness? You can always come here. Just don’t give up. :heart:

3 Likes

Smart and cute :wink:

But we arnt here for that

Stay safe
Stay sober
Keep comming
We need ya here

1 Like

Setbacks happen. What matters is what you are able to take from this experience going forward. I can promise you most people here have had setbacks, but you don’t do yourself any good by hating yourself and putting yourself down for it. It’s all a learning process. Let this make you stronger.

3 Likes

Man, I feel you… The current state of affairs in this world is testing me all the time, daily. I’d have gladly come over and talked to you and gone for a walk to hear you. I’m hearing you now. I’m happy to be here now to lend some compassion and understanding to you because I’ve been there. It’s a rough feeling but it is just a feeling, a moment in time that doesn’t define you. It’s how we respond that speaks volumes. I hated myself after my last drink 15 months ago enough to say “never again” and I meant it cuz here I am. Clean and sober! It’s a trip, for real. The thing for me right now is that after all the work I’ve put into becoming this better person, I can’t imagine giving it up because I’m stressed. I have friends and a phenomenal program that I can go to when I have that doubt that I can’t hold on… I’m always reminded it’s “progress rather than perfection” and that’s the root of it all. I’m a fucked up drunk and my willpower says I want to be better tomorrow than I was today. Sometimes, I’m not but that doesn’t mean that I don’t get a chance to be better tomorrow! Forgive yourself. You are a complex being with emotions and wild thoughts. Mistakes are natural. I make them all the time still but I don’t let them define me anymore, how I react and get back to my best level that speaks bounds! Cheers!

1 Like

I have no one. I lasted a month by myself, this app, and God.

I just suffer from such low self esteem and self worth that it’s hard to forgive myself. I have no one. No one who would listen to me. No one who would understand me.

1 Like

Well you’re part of our tribe now so you have us!:kissing_heart:
You’re here and ready to go again so concentrate on the positive from this.
:heart:

2 Likes

So did I, I know exactly how you feel. It sucks. So much regret. Hungover. Tired. Money gone. Family freaked out. Almost lost my job again. I drank for the same reasons as you, and I can tell you you’re not alone! Just keep hanging on as best as you can. these 1st few days are always the worst physically and emotionally. it will get better we are trying you are reaching out and that’s the most important thing. :heart: grab my hand and let’s dig out of this pit

5 Likes

You are in the right place. This app is here for support and compassion but this app can’t do the work for you. May I suggest the 90 meetings in 90 days? Zoom is all the rave right now. Check the local AA charter in your area for online meetings. After people started seeing me around, they would open up their arms to me. This program works IF we’re willing to put the work into it.
Someone said the other day in a zoom meeting “doing estimable acts build self-esteem.” This program taught me to work with my fellows and be of service. That is the great reward for me… being selfless and honest towards all my fellows.
Check in with us daily! We are here to talk and support anyway we can!

2 Likes

I just don’t know if I could do a zoom meeting.

You can do it as kind of a bystander; you can have your camera and microphone off and just listen if you want.

1 Like

Do you want sobriety? If the answer is yes then you have to be willing to do anything. You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable if you really want it.

Give a zoom a try see how it goes sitting on the fence youl get a sore bum so maybe maybe give it a trey effort and desire wish you well

Relapse happen, but they dont have to. Let this experience teach you something. What will you change, what will you do so next this doesnt happen?

I have 849 days because I changed. Had I kept doing the same things, I would still be am active alcoholic.

I was in the same place as you 8 days ago. Miserable and ashamed I relapsed. But ya gotta pick the pieces up and keep going. This app have been helpful but group meetings have really made the difference for me

Will God Forgive me?
Trust in Gods power, God has already forgiven you. Now forgive yourself and others and move forward with even more strength. You’ve got this.

There is some great advice, plans and support here. Being a recovering alcoholic is not easy. It takes a lot of thought and effort. I am a recovering alcoholic who had greater that 10 yrs sobriety. But I relapsed last year for one night. Proved again the is no no “cure” for having issues with alcohol. I was very down and hard on myself. Why did I throw it all away? What was wrong with me? Why would I put myself and family at risk? After the initial shock, reality set in. I had been sober for a long time. I had been doing something right. It was tough but I had to accept my relapse, learn what caused the relapse and continue my sobriety. I did not lose 10 yrs of sobriety, that could never be taken away. So, I wrote down what caused the relapse. For me it started mentally several months before the actual drinking. Hopefully I am now aware of those subtle triggers and will not go down that path again. Sobriety is hard. But being sober is worth it. What were the triggers and what are you going to do differently next time?

Sober days can never be taken away.

1 Like