I sounded naisaly and slurred my words. Terrible time

493 no alcohol

1day and 19hours no form of weed.

Some of the weed at the despencory is not for health. Its to get fked up. I convinced my wife to let me smoke some stash from the dispensary. She said no
I said plz
She said go to online aa
I said no i want weed

I had a full blown meltdown be4 i smoked it and after

Be4 i smoked my body felt like it was on fire and all i needed i thought was the permission to smoke to make it go away. It felt like full blown withdrawal.

Weed will wind me up dead, jail or institutionized and single and alone

My wife recorded me after i smoked during a argument because she said no to me having more.

I sounded like a screechy cat. I sounded gross

My wife is still a bit upset and i dont blame her.

My baby boy witnessed me at my worse and i can never take that back

I just wanted to shear this so someone can use my experience to help themselves stay sober

Im not looking for pitty

I fked up my sobriety and relapsed and im living with it and working to fix it one day at a time

I plan on doing some writting when i get home about this and keeping it in my wallet and starting at aa online

I havnt done this yet because i worked full time yesterday(the day after the relaps) and just fell.asleep hard after work.

Today is better
Today will be better

P.s. my wife is on here sometimes
Ill ask her if i and tell you all the username.

I dont need to hear anything about her use of her medical marijuana

This is MY LIFE AND MY ADDICTION. not hers

10 Likes

“Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities”

6 Likes

Ready to work a program yet? Or how does supervised visits sound after your divorce?

5 Likes

Maybe you can use your experiences, your posts to help your recovery as well.

Posting before you use. Trying a fucking meeting. What can happen at worst?

I remember that back in the days I asked my partner to support me in not drinking. He didn’t have a problem so didn’t really saw the problem when one day later I’d convinced him to have just a glass of wine. Then: why the fuck didn’t he support me better?

6 Likes

Hi @Noshame I’m glad you came back , why do you keep posting about your wife this is your journey and your addiction not hers , and No you shouldn’t ask for her username or tell us anything about her . I completely agree with what @RoseCityRonin says . I don’t believe you were honest about being clean when you put up that post and it sounded like a woe is me thread .you need to Look at your actions towards your wife or that poor woman will be saying” see you later” and taking your son with her . Have you been to that meeting yet

6 Likes

Make it simple go to a meeting wish you well

2 Likes

Making a plan and taking action are 2 totally different things. Start doing and stop thinking. Your best thinking has led you to relapse over and over.

This is just another excuse. If I want something bad enough, I’ll make time no matter what. I meet so many people at in person meetings that work full time and have families, including myself that show up and participate in their recovery.

6 Likes