I mean I did download this app just now so I suppose I’ve been thinking it for a while.
I work as an assistant manager in a restaurant. I work minutes from home. I have 2 beautiful amazing children and a wife who thankfully hasn’t given up on me.
I work late hours and miss my kids.
Sometimes I drink before work and continue to drink through my work day. Sometimes I get off early and lie to my wife about it being too busy for me to leave so I can go to a bar.
I’ve wanted to change for a long time but today it felt like enough is enough… I hope.
I’ve never called in sick but last night I drank so much even I got a hangover and called in sick. I feel like a failure.
I want to be better. I don’t even know why I wrote this fully.
Maybe because I finally had to be actually honest with myself.
Whoever reads this… Thanks and I hope you are well.
Welcome Cody. If you think you have a problem, you probably do. The good news is that like so many of us here you’ve decided to learn how to live with your life, present, being there for yourself and your family. It’s a much more fulfilling way to live.
There are many useful resources here - books and podcasts to start your learning, and groups you can join to learn about sober safe living:
"I want to be better. I don’t even know why I wrote this fully.
Maybe because I finally had to be actually honest with myself."
It sounds like you’re in the process of coming to terms with the idea that you’ve got alcohol addiction?
I really recommend a book called “the life changing joy of being sober” it’s a really good enjoyable read, and you’ve got nothing to lose by having a look at it, like you don’t even need to make changes to your life while you read it, just open yourself to looking at new information at this stage, and if it takes you towards sobriety, then great!
Great to have you here with us, its good to realize what bigger a problem i really have before i start to loose more things i cant get back. Sounds like you have a good perspective on things an your in a good space to start your recovery with the right mind set. Stay positive have patience and take it easy.
Welcome to the forum Cody! You’ve taken some very good steps already. Most important thing I think is to not go this sober road alone. Makes me glad to see you take steps to involve your wife and find help with your peers, both here and in AA. Keep doing that friend. One day at a time. I wish you all success in your journey.
Man that’s my old story Cody. The restaurant business will eat you up and use you and take your family away from you if you don’t change. Change something. I don’t know what. The number of days I use to sit at the bar drinking after work and telling the wife it was so busy. It was. But I could have gone home an hour or so ago. Even the owner use to ask me why are you still here when you got your wife and children at home. Then I was drinking during work. Then before work. The restaurant business was fun chaos for me that I handled like a pro. But I let it take me away from my family. It almost completely ruined me.
Its great to hear that your considering AA, works for this ex-drunk, sometimes we need just a little encouragement and alot of suggestions, more the marrier. I wish you well my friend just take it a step at a time.
Hey man, we are all glad to have you here as acceptance is one of the hardest characteristics of alcoholism. It takes a very strong person to admit they have a problem and best yet you don’t have to give up on your hopes and dreams.
You have your kids and wife and some people hit rock bottom and lose all of that, some worse and I’m sure there are some people here that have hit that if not worse in life. Pick up the pieces now Cody and make a change because you can and you know you can, so time to believe in yourself.
There are many outlets you can use for sobriety, I would recommend trying to stick around and learn about sobriety through the forum, you can always seek AA/NA meetings, possibly find a sponsor, rehab is always an option (it is not worth losing your marriage if you had to admit you have a problem) and of course you can always join into the Facebook of sobriety, sober time.
I used to work in hospitality too and I know how hard it can sometimes be and drinking is such a normal thing for everybody there. After I’ve realised I have a drinking problem and decided to stop, I was probably the only non-drinker in my work. I thought it will be hard but at the end of day I was actually grateful for staying sober when I saw everybody who got drunk. It wasn’t the nicest look and I never found myself missing the time when you have problem walk straight, articulate and concentrate. So now, whenever I go out with bunch of drinkers and I’m the only one sober, I feel rather unique and proud of myself than ashamed.
I thought it could help you if I share this in case you find yourself uncomfortable in your job. There might be questions why you don’t drink and efforts to make you drink. I believe you’re aware about it and this thought crossed your mind more than once. I really wish you all the best and if you ever want any opinion based on my personal experience, feel free to reach to me I’m happy to share and help as much as I can
Thats good you found AA go to a meeting make new sober friends who have been were you are now , this is for you to make a decision if you want your life and family back you have to move forward even though you dont like it and are scared, and fearfull , and you will be surprised at the change in your mindset , Desire and effort and the journey will be bumpy at start but it does get smoother i can vouch for that best move this old scotsman made many moons ago now wish you well
Hi @CodyBrown , welcome! So glad you found this place and well done on taking the first huge step of admitting you have no power over alcohol. My DOC was alcohol and I understand the strength it takes to say enough is enough. I wish you all the very best and look forward to seeing you around here
It is pretty amazing how all of you rally so quickly to help someone let alone someone brand new.
I have messaged a couple of you directly and it’s been amazing the outpouring of support.
As I’ve said to someone else it’s tough to not drink when I feel great. When I feel is down on myself believe it or not it’s easier to identify the problem.
After a night of not drinking and waking up without a hangover I feel great and almost like I deserve a drink. It makes it easier to avoid when I say it out loud (or typing) to you folks.
It’s the same with me; it’s the same for so many people here.
Addiction thrives when we keep it inside of ourselves, our hidden little “secret”. As long as it stays that way, it eats us up like a parasite.
Opening up to others in recovery is an important part of being healthy and growing; and moving forward; and being with the people who matter. Opening up and staying accountable is what makes healthy living possible.
HeyCody,
If you think you have a problem, you have a problem. All the things you do, I/we all did. I got sober 1 Jan 2014. 27 Feb 2015 my 11 year old son went into a hospital and died the following October. The thing that saved my life was that I was sober. What has saved me since is that I know for the last 14 months of his life he saw his father sober.
Don’t wait.
Best,
Chandler
I’m happy to share and help as much as I can 
