I know the answers to my own questions but I’m in denial. Downloading this app proves that I have a problem.
I want to feel normal daily without alcohol but I don’t. I use the excuses of wanting to relax and not think about anythin. I make excuses for myself. It started from having a drink only on the weekends, to now every day I have to drink something to “calm my nerves”.
I feel stupid sometimes. Some days I don’t even wanna drink but I end up drinking. I can’t sleep without having a drink. I can’t focus. If I’m not motivated, I know a drink will make me feel better.
I don’t have friends really. My job and children take over my life. I love my job and my kids make me happy. Idk why I need to drink. . I used to drink just to get inspiration for my paintings, I’d get stressed and nit pick everything, but when I’d drink and relax
My paintings would look amazing. I don’t even paint anymore…
Are these signs? Am i right about having a problem? I guess I’m confused.
Im sad. And i haven’t talked to anyone about it. But being here writing, makes me realize everything.
I’ve learned for me that when I relied on alcohol to feel different, to cope with things, to think that I was improving my mood, then I was not facing life on life‘s terms. I was numbing it. When the drinking got to a point that I couldn’t say no to it and it was controlling me, I accepted that I have a problem with alcohol. It’s great to have you here.
Alcohol is a powerful depressant. You are self aware enough to know it’s a problem.
Look into recovery programs like AA, Recovery Dharma, SMART, life ring. Getting a start now is a good idea. You don’t have to suffer from rock bottom to turn things around. My best guess is you’ve drank for many years and it’s slowly gotten worse. It’s progressive, so let me be honest, it only gets worse. But choosing to be sober opens up a whole new world of possibilities. The challenge is in learning how to live sober, learning how to be sober.
You’ve already described what so many of us have felt. Finding excuses to drink eventually turn into anything you can think of, happy, sad, sleep, work, small accomplishments, small failures, it’s sunny out, it’s nighttime etc etc…
You came to the right place. Lots of support here. Have you tried talking to a friend or partner about it? Sobriety is absolutely worth working for.
Try and paint, just fun, no pressure on yourself, just try and let go of your own expectations. Lots of us are, dare I say, control freaks, perfectionists, self critics. Try and let go and enjoy the moment
Writing it out really helps. It was for my first step for AA, but I wrote out how alcohol was affecting my life, and how I wanted my life to be. Like I wanted to be a present mum, but when I drank I was short-tempered and selfish. It really helped me highlight that I had (have) a problem. Alcohol sucked everything out of my life. At my worst I was drunk, hungover or negotiating mentally whether I would/should drink almost all the time.
Welcome! Downloading this app was one of the first things I did when I decided to get sober and it was a good thing I did as I’ve found so much support and connection here. You don’t have to hit “rock bottom” to be an alcoholic. If you are unhappy with how alcohol shows up in your life, if you’re tired of waking up hungover or not being fully present for the people in your life, then maybe it’s time to think about sobriety. I spent years telling myself I didn’t really have a problem and trying to ignore all the ways alcohol was ruining my self esteem, my relationships, jeopardizing my health, my career, the list is endless.
I’m only 30 days sober so I don’t have a lot of wisdom yet, but the North Star I keep coming back to is a paraphrase of something I read: my goal is to create a life I no longer need or want to escape from.
It sounds like you are an artist and have a lot you need to express… I would encourage you to explore that and keep coming back here, you’re not alone
Welcome!! Once we download the sobriety app and ask ourselves the questions about drinking, we know in our hearts that there is a problem. Sometimes it can take a long time to truly understand what is needed to get on with our lives and get off the shame / guilt / just one cycle of drinking…but for others, they can understand quickly that a change is needed and begin their journey. We don’t have to wait for horrible things to happen or for our drinking to get worse to truly understand it is time for a change. I think you are aware in asking the questions.
One thing that helped me a lot was when I realized that alcohol wasn’t really alleviating the stress or anxiety, it was helping to cause it. Alcohol is a depressant and that feeling of calming the nerves is simply our way of dulling our feelings. Our feelings arise from our body for a reason …when we perpetually avoid them they get stuck in our body and fester. Alcohol makes that happen.
Feelings and emotions can be uncomfortable for sure, but they do pass if we learn to recognize them, feel them and work them out and release them. Sometimes we just need to name them…I am feeling anxious, my tummy feels tight, I need a warm bath or jump around with the kids or to journal my feelings or to color with the kids and get this out (versus I need a drink to hold this in). It is a reframing of how we relate to the normal functions in our body. And you also get the added bonus of modeling healthy living for your kids and that emotions and feelings are normal and healthy (even the icky feeling ones).
One book that helped me understand alcohol better and what it was doing in my body was This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. Maybe give it a read.
That was all my long winded way of saying welcome and glad you are here and yes, there are many ways of living and being inspired that do not involve drinking.
This is when I realized, without a shadow of a doubt, that I had a problem.
Everything you wrote, I could have written. I used alcohol to self medicate, to cope.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, it often starts slow but it is insidiously fatal. I quit drinking before I reached the stage where I was physically dependent on it; i.e. may die without it. But I realized that I didn’t need to get that far into the disease before I started treating it. Neither do you!
Quitting is hard and scary, there’s a lot of unknowns and a lot of questions. The best way to cope is to take it one day at a time, today. Be sober just for today we’ll work with tomorrow when it gets here.
It’s so good that you can write it on here. I’m new to this also as didn’t think I had a problem until I realised that everytime I go to a social event even with my to young boys like a party I have to drink to be around people. I think I have social anxiety badly and drink to be a likeable person when I’m not, I bet I’m just a hyperactive mess. Sat was a bad day so I am 5days sober and I will loose it all if I drink again. How are you getting on now? Im going to try and write a diary each day. Hope you are managing to feel okay without drink, it’s so hard isn’t it. I think I need to be happy with who I am and the skin I am in. Hope all is well xx
That’s how it is for me/ i get anxious and need a drink especially around people. I feel like I’m normal when I drink and people enjoy being around me. I feel free and I feel less nervous. Today I am feeling kinda blah. No drinks, but was tempted. Im sleepy and it’s a gloomy day. I think checking in will help stay on track.
I have found, and I think others will agree, 99% of me thinking I needed a drink was that I had drank the day and weeks before and that’s what made me need to drink. Once you get over that hump you won’t feel that way. Best wishes! You can do it!
@CocoLove Everyone’s experience with drinking is different. I used the reason or excuse for drinking was to relax after a long day at work or my traffic filled commute. In addition to being an addict my daily bottle of chardonnay was a habit. It was just what i did every day. When i made the decision and commitment to get sober i needed to find something to replace or fill that space. This may not apply to you. But it was a lesson i needed to learn to get sober.
Welcome to the forum.
Hugs
Great job reaching out and posting. I downloaded this app a few months ago and have been reading a lot of the community messages but your post really inspired me to write a reply for the first time. Everything you said hit home for me too. I really started to realize that I was relying on that promise of drinking after work to get me through my day. I needed to drink to have the motivation to clean the house. My favorite pass time became drinking while cooking….even though it usually led to me being too drunk to want to eat it by the time it was done.
Today is my 5th day without drinking. That’s the longest I’ve been able to go in a really long time. It’s vulnerability like yours that kept me coming back to this app and slowly finding the acceptance that I had a problem too.
Yes. I started relying on it and thinking about it while at work. I’d get excited to get home to have something to drink and cook dinner. It’s a habit, some days, I’d only have a drink, but then I started having more than one. I wake up the next day not remembering what time I fell asleep. House spotless, everything organized. But I feel like crap, and my motivation that I had because of the drink was gone.wanting to feel that way again…. But knowing that after work id have my drink.
That’s when I realized I had a problem. Thinking about my drink at work, or thinking about having a drink to motivate me to get things done. Idk how to explain it— today is my very first day without a drink… kinda grumpy. I didn’t cook, and my house is a mess.
Kinda weird feeling- I thought about drinking but I felt disappointed with the thought.
I feel ya…I still am finding myself thinking about it while at work. But unlike so many times in the past year or so I don’t have as much of a debate going on in my mind about whether I should swing by the liquor store on the way home and just worry about stopping drinking next week. Which I’m thankful for because honestly alcohol won that debate 99% of the time.
I think that feeling of disappointment is so natural but if we can keep having patience and compassion for ourselves as we navigate this process we can also feel proud that we can make the healthy choice despite the cravings.
I started back drinking after 5 years of sobriety. I knew that my problem had come back. For what ever idea, I thought that I could drink social, which I did, but when I drank alone! Big mistake,
I remember the first black out since starting back drinking, I told myself if I have another one, I was going to a meeting. I slowly saw myself heading down that path again. It took me to cuss my girlfriend which may have ended our relationship, for me to say, I have a problem.
I went to my first meeting tonight.
This site will most definitely help, one day at a time, your in the right place
Once we download the sobriety app and ask ourselves the questions about drinking, we know in our hearts that there is a problem. Sometimes it can take a long time to truly understand what is needed to get on with our lives and get off the shame / guilt / just one cycle of drinking…but for others, they can understand quickly that a change is needed and begin their journey. 
We don’t have to wait for horrible things to happen or for our drinking to get worse to truly understand it is time for a change. I think you are aware in asking the questions.