I think I'm getting divorced

I think I’m getting a divorce. No matter what I do for my recovery my wife cannot get over what I’ve done and she wishes nothing but hate upon me. Just need support to get through. I don’t want to be stupid and do something well both regret…help please!


I hear you, brother. My spouse might be my biggest trigger. I thought all my problems would vanish when I became sober, but I was wrong–it hasn’t been enough. That’s the most heartbreaking thing about sobriety–it doesn’t fix everything. You think it would. Marriage is just too much at times–no wonder we drink. I don’t have any answers–just questions.

Thanks for the kind words. I am currently 26 days sober. And I’m working to another day of sobriety. The problem is my wife is hurting and there’s nothing I can do to help her. That’s the issue. I wish there was more. But unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be much more I can do. I guess I just have to accept this.

I feel for you but seriously you can’t expect 26 days to erase how many years of addiction. You have a lot of work to do in yourself and possibly along the journey others will see it. I’m just going to say something that I get a hint of…you need to find a way to forgive yourself before you expect it from a spouse.

i had to accept it that my ex wife now didnt want me around any more so we got divorced that was along long time ago now im remarried and so is she dont have any contact but i wish her well should have had a medal living with me but some good came out of it im sober

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To be fair, I have been working on sobriety since May, I’ve previously made it 57 days. This is like take 6 or 7. I know there is a lot I need to take care of but if it is all work on my side honestly it won’t change bc she doesn’t feel she has to work.

I totally understand what you’re going through @JJDYNOMITE41 my spouse wants a divorce too. His trigger was another bad blackout episode from me and his alcoholic father dying the very next day. I’ve been working on this issue for a long time and this last episode, something seemed to have just clicked with me. But it’s too little too late. So I’m continuing work on self, grief, and becoming a single parent. The only solice I could attempt to give you is understanding. One day it’s all OK, you see the light at the end of the tunnel, then a bad day hits you. You feel guilty, angry, heartbroken and lost. But you have to remind yourself that no matter what, you have to keep going for yourself so you can succeed in life, be a better person, and be present for your loved ones. Find what works for your sobriety, immerse yourself in a new hobby or experience and rebuild yourself. This moment in your life, as sad/difficult as it feels right now, is a stepping off point to immeasurable possibilities you don’t want to miss. My heart goes out to you, keep your head up.