You are hurting now and when it hurts youd want to numb that feeling by drinking. You do not believe youre worth anything, but you are, worth of seeking help. When people face crisis, like you it is hard if not impossible to cope on your own. You just dont have the energy nor faith. Then it is time to grab a helping hand. It probably isnt your husband at the moment though you might have been used to his support before. There are places and people who can help you out of this misery and pain. Go for it 
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Hang in there. You should seriously consider a SSRI like Prozac to help your anxiety and depression. It helped me.
You see so many people wanting to end it all if they cant have thier partner. I know it can be hard ive lost partners myself after 8 years. You feel all that time was wasted and that they didnt love you. When in fact they do but it may not be the passionate/attractive love you started with. Now its more love you like a bro/sis kind of love. They still care deeply about you and want to see you better. They are just doing whats best for them and you need to respect that. They will never want you back if you and jack(or any alcohol for that matter) keep having an affair. Getting better is your only choice if you even wanna have a chance again. Life is not over. There are many of us with year plus sober time in and can tell you our lives have been flipped 180. Your stuck under the blue cloud of shame and have no confidence in yourself right now. When you get sober your confidence will grow too… Goodluck and hang in there and start a new begining today!
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The first step is to put the bottle down. Keep your appointments. Fix yourself first. When you are sober and address why you drink, you will begin to find yourself again. You have little ones that need their sober mom
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Oh man…I think maybe he may not leave but take a break and give you the space you need to get sober. Talk to him and ask his intentions, it’s a fair question and as long as you can soberly see your kids…focus on your sobriety.
This, goddamit, is a sobering thought and God almighty, I read that sentence hearing my own mothers voice.
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You need to put the drink down and get your shit together, quickly. He left because you drank, and now you’re drinking? Don’t take this the wrong way, but this strategy hasn’t worked for you in the past. Maybe look up a schedule for AA meetings, or a SMART meeting list in your area, and show him that you’re serious about changing. You can’t blame your drinking on stress and anxiety, I did that for years. Your husband deserves the best version of you, your girls deserve the best version of you, and most importantly, you deserve the best version of you. Decide to get sober today and actually do it, then watch how things fall into place. It seems unbelievable now, but it’s true. Ask anyone on here who has some sober time strung together- life is better when you’re sober.
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Warrior up for you kids. They need you. You can overcome this. You may consider getting a sponsor and stay crazy busy to counter idol time which will take your mind off the devil juice. Praying you find peace and streghth. U got this💪
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True. True.
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This is some fire right here.
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Hey Erika. How are things going? Any better?
Hi, hope you have made the right decision and decided you dont need the Jack. My wife also gave me the ultimation to quit alcohol. I did not listen to her. My turning point was when my kid took a big sip of my beer and seemed to enjoy it. For a person that was drinking for over 20 years, it was difficult, but the only person who could prevent me from drinking was myself. This app and community has helped me stay sober. The benefits are priceless. If you are not around do you believe someone else could love your kids like you would? Good luck and hope you find the answers you are looking for.
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Wow not very helpful. If it was that simple everyone would be sober. You’ve done it, well done. You clearly don’t have anxiety or you wouldn’t have written what you did.
Actually I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, along with two kids that have developmental disabilities, that cause a lot of anxiety. Drinking to relieve anxiety doesn’t work, it does the opposite. If you don’t love my response I’m fine with that, but it’s true, and it’s exactly the thinking that got me sober.
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Also, it took my husband telling me he wanted a divorce for me to finally take a good hard look in the mirror. So it seems that we are not unalike. I tried to get sober many times and failed, and it was only when I almost lost everything important to me that I decided enough was enough. Would you have access to an inpatient program at all? Also, I hope that he didn’t leave. I know all to well how that feels 
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Concur. Same here i used drinking to calm my anxiety for years. It backfired on me and slowly put me in a deep depession. Since I’ve quit panic & anxiety attacks are a thing of the pass.
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I think it’s safe to say that many of us here have anxiety and/or depression at the very least. I drank partially to soothe my anxiety but eventually it made my anxiety worse. I feel so much better now that I am not drinking, and more capable of handling issue without retreating into a bottle. Plus, I feel proud, healthy and unashamed myself which is HUGE for me!
People are spending time writing these things to you, sharing personal stories and making efforts to help you. Instead of pushing back, maybe just try to listen and if you disagree, at least honor the gift of help that they are trying to give you. Strangers providing comfort, support and advice to other strangers is a really beautiful and admirable action and not commonly found. This community has big hearts.
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I hope you are feeling more positive and working on your sobriety. You got a lot of good encouragement and support here. I know it can feel like a lot, especially when you are in early sobriety or trying to string some days together.
Truth is, our emotions get so heightened when we are using and drinking and trying to get sober. Anxiety feels so much more intense, when we are drinking. So many of us, myself included, were or are living with anxiety, depression, PTSD and for many of us, very dark thoughts while we were drinking. It is a hard place to be in and I am sorry you are there. I hope you do know you matter, very much, to your kids. And they need you.
You matter so much. Please do not give up on yourself. I know I felt like it was time for me to just die, but somehow I didn’t. I fought hard to get sober and it took a lot of time. Keep trying girl.
Therapy, counseling are great starts and putting down the drink is the best. Fo us on what you can do TODAY to stay sober. Worry about tomorrow when it arrives.
Most of all remember you matter and be gentle with yourself. Early sobriety is not easy but it is also not complicated. Do not drink today.
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Hey kid, I hope you are having a better day today. Shut down those repetitive negative thoughts, count one, two, one two. You can make this day better than the last. XOXOXO
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Thank you for your kind words, today will be better and I will be sober xxxx
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