I guess the most I have noticed when everything is feeling smooth I feel perfect and nothing feels like it can go wrong and I feel like world’s great butci noticed I hadnt had a bad day in along time even though my relationship sucks and I don’t want even to be here anymore and I just can’t wait til I find a place so I can get out for me and my son … I try for my energy to stay high so I keep a positive mind set and don’t ever slip up but tonight I am having a great deal of problem with this he’s driving me nuts for starters he still uses drugs and I don’t but still I get a place DCS won’t close my case out until I get housing there really is no other option for me until I get the housing taking care of. Which is rough for me bc I am a felon and I have been getting denied everywhere I go to try to find a place and it sucks bc I actually have the money to get into a place just can’t get excepted and today I am having screens issues I am so mad tonight I can’t stand this person another day, the only time they want to have sex is when they are on drugs , they are so unenjoyable to be around I hate our relationship and havent been happy with it in along time . I don’t even know if they know this bc yeah I pretty much can’t stand them lol the love def isn’t there anymore , I just want someone new and someone else and I can’t wait did that right person to come along because fmit would just be a god send on that portion of me life. I need someone that is going to be able to match my energy and same soberness and all that good stuff. They are never there for me like they used to be, we have nothing in common to even relate to talk about like I’m a pretty girl so I know I can get anyone I would want at my job . Or anwhere not trying to be conceited but I do know someone else would treat me how I am supposed to be treated. Like I am just so ready for that part of my life to be in the dirt and move on finally I just wish God finally would just answer my darn prayers and let me close chapter in my life and open a new one bc being around this person the longer and longer I can’t stand it anymore all he cares about is meth and I have moved on from that portion of my life and that is why I can’t stand someone on drugs their whole everything is so foggy and their view of the world is just nothing of what it used to be and I find it sad honestly … I just needed someone to vent to I haven’t felt like I had wanted to use like that in a really long time and I am glad I could seperate myself from him and just get a second to myself for a breather and to just think and try to get in a better spot bc I know never going to doing the same thing
I hope the venting helped you feel a little lighter. I know it is hard being a felon and finding housing and employment. Do you have a case worker that could offer some suggestions? I know also at our local library they have many listings of services that can help. Idk, just suggestions to help you move forward. I hope you are keeping your sobriety at front and center, it is so important for getting time with your son.
Yeah last night I cleared my head and remained sober because I know if I have a dirty drop it’s over for me and I have given DCS 9 weeks of clean screens I got through the night and did it! I’m still doing great I do appreciate so much your reply thanks for that, and I did not know that about the library’s I’ll have to check my community areas libraries thanks that’s a great idea. . I did also email a few re-entry programs that are usually for felons getting out of incarceration but I’m not getting out of jail lol I just happen to have about 4 felony’s for drug possession on my record that I can’t do anything about it which now looking back I really Wish I would have made better choices in my life before beginning my life with doing drugs and messing alot of things up … Huge regret for me and my son I think I have ever felt but I will keep it pushing and won’t give up on trying to find a place. Thanks though I really liked your reply. Chat anytime hope all I well
Yeah!! Glad to hear you made it thru the night clean. Maybe the library will have some flyers, worth checking it out. My brother is a felon and I know it is really hard getting jobs and housing. Checking in with re entry programs is smart. Do you have a PO to talk with or get any assistance from or a caseworker? I know some are more helpful than others.
It is tough when we look back and see the bad choices, but we can move forward from them, just like you are working on.
Also, idk about where you are, but I do know some churches can be helpful with housing, meals and such. Sending some your way.
Yeah I am from Indianapolis Indiana btw hbu ? And yeah I do have a caseworker for my DCS case but we haven’t had much luck still waiting back from the re-entry programs but I got on at UPS. Over and year and a half ago the job wasn’t all that bad getting it’s this housing that’s gonna be the death of me lol but yeah I’ll check flyers and go to my public library for sure thank you for the info very helpful:)
I am in western NC, almost SC. Keep at it and trying to connect with programs …cannot hurt.