So tomorrow is my 26th birthday. Already feeling a little weird about turning 26 as it is, aging is a massive fear of mine. More so, the concept of aging being inevitable. Having a small existential crisis rn BUT I’m also weirdly anxious. The last few birthdays have all been REALLY bad. They didnt start bad but with the alcohol they all ended horribly. This is my first birthday since i turned 20 where I’m not going to be drinking or doing drugs… but I’m trying to focus on how exciting it will be to sleep peacfully tomorrow night knowing i remeber the whole celebration, that i wont be violently sick the next day, or doing damage control from either myself or someone else making a horrible decision. I’m finding peace in what my fiance has planned for us. Were going to visit a hot spring and get some good food. Its the first major celebration since Christmas/New Years that i wont be drinking. It feels silly to be nervous about it. But while i was drinking i got so used to chaos that when things are calm and positive it kind of feels off still. Idk.
My fiance did surprise me with some beautiful flowers. I spent the day with my mom and little sisters. My oldest younger sister is visiting right now so it was really nice to see her. We did an at home spa day. It was nice but i had some really rough emotions saying goodbye to her. I’m just here to vent i guess. Thanks for coming to my ted talk 
I hope you have a fabulous birthday. Being alcohol free on them is actually really wonderful as u remember it all. Each nuance of the day… Your fiancé sounds devoted to u.
Celebrate each day. Enjoy being young and what an achievement, choosing to be alcohol free at such a pivotal stage of life. An awesome future awaits u 
It’s not silly to be nervous about doing celebrations and big things sober at first. That’s all part of learning to live and deal with life things sober and not numbed out. After a while that anxiousness starts to feel pretty good.
Have a great birthday Kc. 
And what a great Ted talk it was!
I appreciate the nerves on turning the page on another year, but you are at a fantastic time of your life, and to be tackling sober, man we all could only wish to be so lucky and as pulled together as you are for this time.
Enjoy, as you have so many things to look forward to still.
Happy birthday wishes to you Kc. 
Turning 26 and already looking into recovery is amazing, I remember thinking I wouldn’t make it to 30 but never thought about stopping the way I was living.
I’m now 45 and sober, I’m happier than ever 
Aging is something we have no choice over but how we live is up to us 
Happy Birthday to you! What a wonderful gift you’ve given yourself! No alcohol … no not remembering! Embrace your sober self!
Thank you! I started using very early in my life. I started smoking weed around 12 and fully addicted to much harder stuff by the time i was 16. I’m really really glad that i am making changes early enough that i still have a lot of life to live. It just scares me because i also have so much life that i could ruin if i slip up. Just holding on tightly to my sobriety because my sobriety is my future. Thank you for the kind words 