At midnight I’ll be hitting my 40 days sober mark and I am very proud of myself… So of course I talk about it. Anyways, I spoke to a sibling of mine the other day and they brought up my sobriety and said “Yeah you are sober now and I’m happy for you, but for how long?” with the blankest face. Of course my mind went blank too… How am I suppose to respond to that? Because I don’t even know, I can pretty good at taking in self criticism… but that shit kind of hurt honestly because it kind of feels like my family is just sitting back waiting for me to give up…
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One day at a time
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Exactly what @Cjp said.
One day at a time. Don’t make plans to be sober for a week or a month or a year. Just take it one day at a time and the time will add up for you.
Sending a sober hug your way. Congratulations on 40 days! (At midnight) 
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I feel for you. That is tough, but think of this… for most of us there have been many times where we showed promise and made promises only to fall back into our old habits with those that love us baring witness to our self defilement and hurting them. We cant expect anything from anyone except ourselves. If you must be mad at her (and i would’ve been), use that shit as fuel! Im spiteful and a grudgeholder by nature so I’d be sober for a decade just to show her and everyone i can be. Now obviously rage and spite are generally horrible places to act from so be aware the fruit born of such actions will have to be undone in time with understanding and will likely have side affects.
Perhaps the best answer is the honest one: “today… i have today and tomorrow ill claim that too and every day I’ll work to heal.” For if thats what you’re doing then you’ll only be telling the truth and the honest truth is powerful.
Congratulations on 40 days! Thats amazing. I wish you serenity.
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To be honest, i think its very natural thing for our loved ones to question how long we will stay clean and sober for. It hurts to hear that for sure though. I dont blame you for feeling the way you did.
I know for myself i have failed more times than i can count and so my loved ones always seemed like they were on edge waiting for another fall.
What i came to realize is that i had to just focus on my recovery, taking it one day at a time. Actions speak louder than words and I needed to show with these actions that I have changed and that i am willing to go to any lengths to stay clean and sober. Your family will see this overtime 
They are going through alot also, just like yourself. Addiction just doesnt affect the one addicted. It effects everyone.
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Perhaps their question was more honest than malicious. Something I’ve noticed in my journey is that my dedication inspires other people to question their own habits. They freely talk about their perspective when I mention my sobriety. At times their views conflict with my own. As you stay sober I hope it begins to bother you less and less. You’re strength might make others feel vulnerable. Congratulations on 40 days! Keep being strong 
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If your experience was like so many here, you’ve had quits before. Maybe a few days or weeks. Maybe a “sober January”, but have eventually returned to the drink.
Maybe this time is the one that sticks for good. Maybe this time is just a longer quit.
You can stay sober for as long as you want to. If that’s “forever”, then it will be forever. Just say “no” to the drink that matters…the first drink. Each time that you do, you make the second or third or eighth drink an impossibility.
So you will stay sober, until your next first drink. If that never comes, well then you’ll be sober forever more.
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My son decided to follow in my footsteps and quit the booze 
I’m so proud of him. At his 30 day sobriety mark, he told his friend. He was so proud of himself. His friend said " baby steps." My son was crushed. I told him what I’m going to tell you…f**k 'em. This is about you and YOUR sobriety. Be proud be happy and continue on! You don’t need no one’s approval but YOUR OWN at the end of the day. Own it, deserve it, and sober on warrior!!
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It took quite a while for my wife to see how serious I was, took even longer for her to say “Ok, I believe you’re in it for the long haul”.
In the past, my behavior contradicted what I said. I said I wanted to quit, but I didn’t. It was hard for anyone to really take me serious, I had to show them.
Show 'em, don’t tell 'em. Just don’t let them discourage you along the way.
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Remember that most of the world does not understand sobriety, is uncomfortable talking about it or carries a stigma towards it.
Sobriety means forever and its yours to own. Twice recently I had alcohol shoved in my face and replied that I don’t drink. It was not received well in either instance. If someone else does not like mine or yours or anyway else’s sobriety that is a reflection on THEM and not YOU.
Carry on with growing confidence in your sobriety and those who do not like it can have the same one finger salute into the same fuckit bucket where you sent alcohol…There are no shades of grey in this endeavor…
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Can your friend look into the future? Can you?
Then why stress over being put on the spot like this. I’m doing my best every day and am commited to making this work long term might be a suitable reply.
You don’t owe anyone a promise or proof. You just owe it to yourself to stick with it and give it your all. At the same time, noone owes you confidence or blind trust. That’s their issue tho. Don’t take on someone else’s viewpoints or doubts.
All the best!
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When people asked me this at two week’s I said my goal is 1 month. When they asked me at 2 months I replied my goal is 100 day’s and so on…
Friend’s started to get behind me at around week 6, people joined me at week 8 and now I’m on day 81 with the mindset that I will die sober!
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Well done doing great , who ever was up the earliest today is the longest sober today, thats all we have today , my mum asked me hopefully son your continue going to meetings or she called it my club lol well that was over 36 years ago now a day at a time ,
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However long YOU choose it to be so my answer would be…however long i see fit
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I promised to get sober so many times and failed that no one believed me. Juat keep being sober and slowly everyone will see the change.
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I can totally understand being disappointed to hear that. It is frustrating when other people can’t see all the work we are putting in.
However… Have you ever thought ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’ about anyone? It is a natural reaction I think, to be sceptical. We get used to people how they are, and expect them to stay like that! Even if we would rather they didn’t.
Keep putting in the work and trusting yourself. Congrats on 40 days!
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Congratulations on your 40 days!!! I know that early on in my journey I had the same questions asked, and I think mostly they were asked out of curiousity, experience (of me drinking again previously) and bringing up folks own drinking habits and that making them uncomfortable. Plus…when you aren’t on the journey, you don’t really get it for awhile. You know? Like you don’t truly understand what or how to support your loved (hint: do not tell them ‘just one’ is okay)…stuff like that.
Yeah, it stings to feel unsupported and certainly to be unsupported. But til other loved ones start to understand your process and journey better, you do have us and we do support you. 
Sobriety and recovery literally can become a journey that family and loved ones take with us. Not that they necessarily will want to be sober or attempt it or become sober…but that it changes / influences / informs / impacts them as well as us. So we all journey together a bit and we all learn along the way. It is 100% normal for you to feel let down, sad, disappointed, angry…however you feel at their response AND they likely feel some way as well…sad (to lose a drinking friend), anxious (cuz, what now?), or maybe they don’t even know what they feel. IDK just some things to consider.
Our journey is long, but I find the most comfort and strength from taking it one day at a time.
So when people ask me, ‘for how long?’ I generally say, ‘well, I don’t know, today is the the only day I actually have, so definitely for today and likely tomorrow as well. I just feel so much better right now and I want that feeling to continue.’
So happy for you and your 40!!
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One day at a time indeed! I often find that the disappointment I feel at what I interpret as a criticism is a tiny opening in the door to relapse. It’s my boozy brain finding that little crack and then widening in by thinking everyone didn’t believe in me, I was destined to fail, what’s the point anyway, blah blah. Steel yourself from comments like that. Don’t let that sting go deep. One day at a time is the best, truest response because it speaks volumes of the hope, commitment, and weight of the decision to stay sober. The comment only stinks if you let it, so dismiss it for today because today you slay and smell of roses!
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I’ve had this conversation before and I’ve also goaded people who were moving away from drinking in the past as well because I was threatened by their ability to make a choice I hadn’t yet. There will always be people in you’re life that doubt your journey or resent you because they’re envious of your freedom. That’s why places like this are so important because you can get on here or go to meetings and talk to people who have been through and felt the same things. Knowing your not alone helps you process these moments and power through emotions that can gravitate you to your old habits. Stay strong I hit 40 days yesterday too
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