I don’t feel any sort of control of my emotions. I’m 60 days and I could care less Today. All I want is a break from how I’ve been feeling and nothing helps. Holding on but Mannnnn I’m so damn unhappy it’s getting to a point I’m just praying I can take it day by day.
Here’s to hoping.
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Hey you got this, it’s beyond difficult. I just barely started my journey after almost dying again (alcohol related accident) you are strong enough, you’re worth it
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Recovery is work and loads of it. Feeling the feels and somehow learning to deal with 'm is part of that. Took me 20 months of intense therapy to begin to understand myself and my emotions. It takes what it takes. It’s loads of work but so worth it. Keep going there simply is no alternative. You’re doing way better than you think. Congrats on the 60. Big hugs
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Its just another day. You dont have to put pressure on yourself, your only job is to go to bed tonight without drinking.
I thought about giving up today also and it will only make things worse
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Sometimes when we reach milestones, especially early on, it weirds us out. Congrats on 60 days! You may not care much right now, but I do.
When I feel like giving in, I tell myself just wait until tomorrow. If I’m still feeling this way tomorrow I may consider it. I also go back and read my early entries and reflect on how far I’ve come. Remember when you said “For every good moment was 3,600 bad days” - don’t ever forget that.
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If you do chose to get high, all that you feel now will be waiting for you and then some if you’re lucky enough to come back. The only way out is through. Hang in there and keep pushing. 
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I’m sorry you feel this way. It can be very challenging and exhausting. That must suck. Try to breathe, find your center, reach out to your HP.
I like to think of my HP like the ocean. If you fall off a boat into the ocean you can thrash about in the water, wasting energy and time. Or you can breathe, lean back, and let the ocean waves gently carry you to shore.
….Just lean back.
(HP - Higher Power)
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To Everyone who commented, I’m okay Tonight.
Had a mental break but luckily I have some good people around me who care and held my hand through a tough day.
Thank you all for being there too, your words mean so much. I will keep on trying. This week is just the toughest I’ve had since my start.
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It’s common to feel this way. Recovery is full of upset and downs.
I would bet that 61 days ago, you were so miserable that you wanted change. The misery you wanted to escape from will always be there.
The misery you feel now is temporary. It’s time to do some work.
Keep fighting!
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Are you taking actions to improve your emotional state? Drinking/using aren’t actions. I don’t like being cold and wet. If I am out in the rain with the cold wind blowing, I could drink, which would only make me cold, wet and drunk. I might feel less cold and wet, but in reality I’d be just cold and wet.
Action would be opening an umbrella, building a fire, moving around to generate body heat, or ideally, moving inside where it’s warm an dry.
Maybe think about listening to soothing music, or my favorite, audio of waves on a beach? Maybe go for a walk in the sun, which always improves my mood. Working out does as well.
I am confident that you will get through this, if you stay sober.
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That’s what I kept telling myself to get through, I looked at myself in the mirror and said, " remember when you wanted to die because you didn’t think you could stop"
Now I’ve stopped. Sometimes I just need reality checks.
The reality checks being that I was miserable.
My mental isn’t great, it’s very up and down but I suppose that’s to be expected coming out of a decades usage
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I turned to a friend, that was my way of getting myself some help rather than trusting myself to go out on my own. I was very honest andadd it of great importance that I didn’t hangout with myself and got to work early so I could be doing something to get my mind off throwing away progress.
Luckily in that moment, that worked
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I definitely am struggling right now with having an intense break and being alone. So the past couple times I felt like this I call a friend or now my sponsor thanks for advice:relaxed:
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You did good. You reached out. You talked about it. That helps take its power away. I posted before I read that your feeling better.
Coming here and writing about my cravings has helped me stay on track.
I also like to share as I’m walking through challenges. It keeps me focused.
I’m glad you feeling better today!
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Don’t forget you’ve an entire community of friends here. This amazed me when I first joined. People reaching out in the wee morning hours, and getting quick responses. You are never alone here.
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I really feel that way, I’m so grateful I know about this community now. It’s helped me a lot, happy for all of you
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The drink was safe house for pain and sorrow…dont serch for reason(as alwyas is many) to go and hide there. be brave and wild come out from difence and gaine your freedom
You can do it and you disevre it✊
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