I was sober for 2 years. I’m trans, and my family is being triggering to me and not accepting and saying hurtful things. I usually smoke weed to calm my triggers and I can’t do that because of a drug test. I’ve been going through alot, I’ll have a couple drinks and then hate my self for it, say I’m never doing it again. And then I do it again the next day or so. I don’t like drinking. But I want to dumb my triggers. Does anyone have any tips on what to tell your Brian when you’re feeling like you want to drink but you know you don’t want to but you’re triggered
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What I do is playing the tape trough…
How do I feel tomorrow when I do drink?
Hangover, blackout, shame, guilt and regret?
Probably all that! 
I have made myself a list of things that I can do when I have cravings. One of them is come here to vent about it. It helps to get the edge out. Other things that helps me are: walking, exercize, binge Netflix, gardening, just activaties that keep me active and distract me from my thoughts.
And remember cravings are temporary. They come and go.
I understand that your situation is difficult. We all have our reasons to drink and numb things we do not want to feel. Do you have help with it? Like therapy ore a coach?
I hope this app can give you some extra support too, I know it is for me 
We are a bunch of nice people all addicted so we all understand where you are going trough right now.
So don’t crave alone but come here to chat instead so we can help you trough it.
And welcome here Leigh! 
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Thank you, I will come on here next time and chat, I forgot about this app and instead drank and now I feel so much guilt and feeling awful about my self. I don’t want to ever do it again. I don’t have a therapist unfortunately due to finances but I have friends I should reach out to and this app. Thanks for your response I honestly appreciate it and it’s felt like some comfort to me.
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Glad it was Leigh, you will get far more replies within a few houres. Most people here are from another timezone and are asleep right now (ore trying to ).
I’m Dutch and it’s early morning here.
I am here every morning to check in sober. I will share you the link:
Check it out! And concider to join if you like. It’s a very active and surportive thread to check in daily. Focus is get trough the day sober and keep ourselves accountable.
First year of my recovery I checked in daily and sometimes (when having a hard time) even more!
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Glad you’ve come here. I’ve found that using this group has been very beneficial to me staying sober. Let the guilt over your relapse go and start over today. I am also in a situation where I can’t have therapy due to location of where I live and financially I can’t afford a western price for online counseling but am finding ways to work on things through other means. I hope you can find something that works for you. I’m glad to hear you have friends. I hope they are supportive of you in your desire to be sober. I have found this really crucial in my own journey.
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Hey. Nice to meet you, welcome. I’m sorry that your family are not supportive of you, but your first challenge is to show up for yourself. You need to learn to start constructing a shell of love and acceptance around yourself and placing clear boundaries between you and what’s not acceptable. Maybe use online resources and literature around living in the moment and accepting joy and coming to terms with the self. We can’t escape ourselves and nor should we as we are perfect as we are. You are worth it, invest in YOU. Blinkers should be firmly on towards those that don’t serve you. You matter.
Oh, and don’t drink. That’s a massive piece of self care, your emotions will even out as you get more sobriety.
Good luck my friend, there’s only one you. 
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Welcome to TS, Leigh. Glad you are here. Have a good read around and visit often, this amazing community has really helped me in my journey. 
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Hi, there. Just a few thoughts. First off, I have one Trans friend, we don’t date but she is a close friend. So my understanding of a trans person comes from this one person who is pretty together in her head. Her family supports her change. She has been married, now divorced. Dealing with all that just fine. She also seems to deal with the negative noise better than you do. That is where you may want to start in your recovery from alcoholism.
You are dealing with negative noise the rest of us don’t even understand how painful it is. I can only imagine how painful it must feel. It is isolating in its effect on you. That is going to reinforce your desire to drink. I was mostly a solitary drinker, so I drank mostly alone at home although I spent plenty of time with friends out partying and doing normal stuff where I had to control my alcohol consumption. I hope you have friends who understand and accept you just the way you are. You must have that in your life. If you do have close support, you are doing this all by yourself.
I have been in recovery 30 years as of April. I still attend AA meetings. I would gently suggest you try some meetings if you have not done that. I would NOT disclose you are trans until you find meetings that you feel safe doing that. It is not worth more negative noise to disclose it. I am sorry to say that but recovery is a very fragile process and everyone, myself included, is fragile in our own ways in recovery.
Best wishes to you. Michael
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That sounds hard! I also relapsed after 2 years of sobriety and find family struggles one of the things that triggers me to drink. Do you have friends or an LBGTQ group you can lean on?
The people on TS are great. I have also been on the stopdrinking group in reddit and have found it helpful. I know two people personally who have transitioned and they no longer speak to their families. I am not sure if this is common.
I am sure that there are others in your situation who would be understanding. As many others have suggested, AA meeting can be comforting at the very least. Even of you dont become a member, lots of good people there.