Idk I find it like what is the point I try and get so far and than it goes real bad every time I want to be me again but I feel like I lost so much that I can’t
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Dont give up, gather your strenghts, learn from your mistakes, and start over, it is possible
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Idk … ya starting over is always possible I’m not a spring chicken anymore and a lot of things I saw in my life are running out
Hello and welcome to this really great community. Most of us share similar memories and experiences, I bet. Maybe read around a little, there are some fantastic threads around. I personally like JasonFishers thread, if you want to check him out. The past cannot be changed anymore, but what you do today, matters. It’s up to you to make a change. We are here to give a hand. Looking forward to seeing you around, Manuel.
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I think small steps do the trick Manuel.
First step is getting sober/clean most of the rest will fall into place later. And some things can’t be fixed, but maybe you can deal with that better when sober.
I will share you some interesting treads to read, they can help you find direction. What's YOUR plan? and this one Resources for our recovery And welcome here ofcourse! This app and the people in it are a big part of my recovery, it’s a good place to be despide the circumstances.
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Ty I appreciate it
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You’re welcome, for me one of the most importants thing here to learn was to be open minded for all the things I read here and to try the stuff they suggest me.
I’m not a chicken anymore either and I think my drive to stay sober forever is growing every day because I do not want to be on day one ever again. I have had a couple of day ones 
I know it’s difficult to become sober, but I also know it can be done. You can too!!
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Back to start again I don’t know why I bother
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Relapse is a part of recovery so dont be so hard on yourself ok my friend?
I keep relapsing …. Over and over and over again
Relapse does not have to be a part of your recovery. You can get and stay clean. Are you changing your friend group if they are active users? Are you staying away from places you use to frequent when you were using? Do you have someone to hold you accountable, accountability partner? Are you working a program?
I know it’s the fight of your life. I’ve been through it many times but it can be done I promise. I believe in you homie
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I went to groups … they worked and than my girl and I were great than she would do some crap that literally would make me be like what’s the point and over and over it goes ya I had someone I was talking to as well … even wrote letters to people I harmed while being high I wanted to change I wanted it so much I lost myself completely … but idk the one person my other half is also my trigger
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You gotta get clean homie because if she isn’t on board you will destroy each other. One of you will always end up bending and if she isn’t ready to get clean and you’re trying but struggling it’s most likely gonna be you that bends to her. I was in this cycle once and now my husband is dead because of it. Died alone from a fentanyl overdose inside of a porta potty. He wanted sobriety. I wanted sobriety. But we were triggers for each other. It took him dying to wake me up. Don’t be me homie.
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No she never did drugs at all …. But now is drinking and she was supposed to be my wife we lost 2 kids together same year and that’s what made me go back to this I guess … but I mean things will be good like no fights with us and than she says and does some horrible stuff and I wounder what’s the point and just say the hell with it …. And I make a million excuses why she does the things she does everyone says stop talking with her stop helping and giving money and so on but I can’t …., every time I fall for it and think there is a chance and that things will be good again and than there is weeks of horrible times
Sounds like you’re addicted to her as well. Love is a powerful drug man. And it can destroy just as swiftly as dope can. You can cut it off. It’ll be hard as hell but when you truly truly are tired of it, you can and will. Rooting for you man, at the end of the day we can all give advice but it’s truly only you who can save yourself and I promise you can, this I KNOW 
you’ve got an army behind you homie when you’re ready!
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Ty so much …. Even if it’s people online and on this app … it’s good to hear people care even total strangers …, Ty I mean that
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I know I can I’ve done it and was clean for years … she was the way I was I wanted better and to be a real man for her . Provide and so on . It’s just so hard to see the point anymore . Trust me when I say there is a lot that made me ever even think to go back to it I was clean for over a decade … and I know how u feel about day one … and it always hurts when it starts over and feel bad we relapse . And I am so glad that you’re doing well it’s great to hear someone who is going through what I am able to say that . Congrats and keep it up .
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Hi @Losthopetobedoubd Manuel. 10 years is a massive amount of sober time in the bank. What did you do to reach that incredible milestone? I bet you have plenty of skills and tools to utilise at this point of your journey.
Sorry for the tragedy of losing your children. As a parent, I cannot fathom what you experienced, but I’m grateful that you felt comfortable enough to share this here. Even the strongest resolve would be tested.
This is an important part to consider. Finding your “why”. Why did you want to get sober in the first place? Why do you want it now? Reflect on this: If a loved one was experiencing what you’re going through and asked you for support, what would you say to them?
I’m inspired by your 10 years of sobriety. I’ve just reached 30 days alcohol free. I aim to reach 10 years and beyond, one day at a time, just like you. You’ve got this!
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