I wrestled this weekend

Life in Recovery
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I found myself really considering going out and getting beer Saturday night. I’m feeling way better, and really different, these days.

I don’t crave alcohol like I used to. I remember what it was like to have the urge to get wasted. Not every day, but it was there. Some combination of boredom and loneliness. I struggled.

These days I don’t struggle. It just would have been nice. It felt like the right thing to do. Grab some beer and play video games.

I’m much more mindful of my emotions. Off my Wellbutrin. Genuinely happy in my new town. I can stop at the buzz with coffee.

Still. I’m afraid to try. 134 days is more than I dreamed of, and I have lots of bad memories that hold me back.

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But you didn’t give in. That’s what counts. You should be proud of yourself. :slight_smile: 134 days is incredible! If I keep doing what I’m doing, I’ll get there eventually! I just got my 30 day chip last night. Its a small thing but it gives me hope.
Congrats on 134 days!!!

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Bad memories keep popping into my head, too. I really try and acknowledge them by saying to myself “ok self, have you thought about this before and played it through?” If yes, I’ll do whatever to change my mind set. It’s negative thinking if it’s something you don’t have power to change at that very minute. Awesome job at 134. I’m at 93 now.