Before my current relationship/engagement I was in a horribly abusive relationship with someone who self harmed and also used it as mental manipulation towards me and at times was physically abusive towards me and verbally abusive towards me saying the most hurtful things possible and using sex or apologizing to try to get me to stay or to forgive her after she had just called me worthless to my face or hit me. She’d also blackmail me with very embarrassing shit from my past to control my thoughts. This led me down a path of self hatred, post traumatic flashbacks that I still have, existential nihilism and wrist/forearm cutting just to see myself bleed and feel a rush of endorphins from pain because the pain from my past fucking hurt me so much. But I can proudly say it’s been 5 whole months since I put a blade to my skin and it’s taken time to appreciate how beautiful it is, My story has only just begun and I’m not letting myself end it. My daughter needs me, my fiancee needs me and most importantly I need me. I need to be a better man and a better person for myself
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This is brilliant 
I’m so pleased that you are settled now, in a loving relationship. Thank you for posting this, you are an inspiration 
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This is great to read. Five months is an excellent achievement. You’ve got a great and inspiring attitude😊
Congratulations! It sounds like u are well on ur way to becoming that better person u deserve to be.