Approaching my 30 day milestone, that’s tomorrow. It’s now officially the longest I’ve gone without tasting alcohol since I was 19 or 20. I’m now 50. Have tried going sober countless times the last four years, loads of resets in here waking up feeling like crap. Reset, went for a few days, a couple of weeks even and back to the pub I went. Time and time again.
Every time trying to justify it to myself: “I’m not addicted”, “some of my friends drink more than me”, “ I’m a rocker and have a good job with loads of responsibility, so I deserve this”. Etc etc. everyone here knows this tune!
Anyway, almost a month from today something clicked. I realised I wanted to be free and wasn’t able to manage it alone. So I told the wife I wanted to get help. And I got help. Have been doing therapy for alcohol addiction and it really helped to talk to a professional that was able to help me put words to this feeling, this thing that drives me to drink too much and do and say stupid things. And I told my closest friends about this project and that I wanted to be able to socialise with them without drinking. Loads of support. And for some reason it’s like a heavy weight is lifted from my shoulders. I’m happier, way less irritable, I sleep better and have lost almost two kg already. Able to exercise three times a week, and I have a lot of energy and feel strangely curious about a lot of things that I don’t before. Highly motivated to keep this going and build myself a new life. A new me.
Why am I writing this, you might ask? Who am I writing to? I am writing to you who have tried multiple times and stumbled. I’m talking to you on the verge of giving in to the temptation to take that drink and break your sober streak because you’ve started to doubt yourself. If you feel weak and are losing the belief that you can do this, I am here to tell you to give it that next try. If you fall, get up again, dust off your clothes and try again. Involve your friends and drop the ones that don’t support you. You can do this, if I can do this you can too. Because you’re awesome and the fact that you’re in here shows that something inside you wants to change.
You got this. WE got this!
Also, thanks to everyone posting their stories here, it has helped me immensely to motivate me in my darkest hours. I don’t know any of you but you rock!