If I’m being honest with myself,
I misused those pills prescribed by my doctor.
When one was in my system I was powerless and had to take more.
They said take 2 every four hours
And I took 8.
Now I’m obsessing over the thoughts that I gave up my 2+ years over a tiny little white pill
And if I gave it up and already have to start over my date, I might as well go get high for real.
I googled drugs on Craigslist
I want to go get high,
But I also don’t want to die.
I’m afraid if I go out, I won’t come back.
But how fucking stupid is it to throw away two years of sobriety for a little tiny bottle of pills?
Has anyone else been in the situation?
I’m trying to find the motivation to stay sober today. Even if I lost my time a couple months ago.
I don’t know what to do.