If there's one thing I'm good at, it's fucking up

Fucked up. Again. Again again. Back to day one…

I put food in the oven then blacked out. Thank goodness my brother came home at some point.

My family is starting to hate me. I’m sorry… This is a beast.

7 Likes

I kinda feel the same… and I am sorry if your family actually starts to hate you… you should know you can alway talk to me an I could bake you cookies or something like that… like a little sis you know? We get through this together… even tho we are stangers.

3 Likes

Only if you’re okay with that lol

1 Like

Please don’t loose hope!!! I relapsed many many times but perseverance always helps no matter what. You will find a way towards healing eventually :pray:t5::pray:t5::pray:t5:

2 Likes

Hey - here for you. I feel the same.

4 Likes

Fuck that’s a bad situation. I can feel your stress through the screen. Time to regroup and recommit! What can you do differently, what can you add to your program and plan to get and stay sober that youre not already doing? It will work if you make it work! Back up on the horse! :racehorse::racehorse::racehorse:

2 Likes

Hugs. Many of us have felt that way, I know I have. But you never have to fuck up again. U can make this the past, and leave it behind. What are u doing to stay sober? Most need a program, some kind of structured plan that involves activities focused on sobriety, self-esteem etc.

3 Likes

I feel you bruv I’ve been there it will pass just show your loved ones your making an attempt

1 Like

They’ve given me so many chances already. So so many. They said my last chance was like two chances ago.

2 Likes

If u stop now, u don’t need another chance. And I understand that the feeling of everyone being disappointed in u feels like a ten ton burden. But focusing on that won’t help u stop. Beating urself up won’t help u stop. Focusing on how wonderful a sober future will be, putting together a sobriety plan, will help u stop.

I think because they feel helpless to help you. I’ve been in their shoes. What can you do now, to really change your life, bud? There’s lots of options out there. I believe in you!

1 Like

I have relapsed many times - it’s hard but I have found the support and meetings on here so good. What are your triggers? Keep talking and getting support here.

1 Like

Message me

My triggers are basically a case of the fuck its

You’ve figured out how to kill yourself physically and emotionally, time to figure out how to live a happy life.

I drank like a fish, cause it was the greatest escape and I didn’t care if I was alive or dead really. I believe I preferred death at some point but I couldn’t pull the trigger… so I continued drinking myself into oblivion and putting myself in worse and worse situations waiting for my death wish to be fulfilled for me.

IOP, AA, therapy and volunteering helped me stay sober and gave me a look at living a life worth living. Went from being arrested for domestic violence, losing kids to foster care, being driven to mental health centers in the back of black and white, being evicted to owning a home, getting my kids back, happiness with my wife and happiness in life in general. Hit 1000 days sober yesterday, didn’t ever imagine that to be possible.

If I can get and stay sober, so can you. You’ve fucked up, we all have, but what we do today is what matters.

Keep trying, keep reaching.

14 Likes

A “case of the fuck its” isn’t a thing and it isn’t a “trigger.” It just means that you don’t care. Like when you decided to drink on your birthday.

Why are you on a sobriety site?

Sobriety doesn’t happen by accident. You don’t become sober through osmosis or by proximity to people who do actually work hard to achieve sobriety.

Choosing to become sober is about hard work and it takes focus and commitment and effort. Choosing to become sober is the opposite of your “fuck its.” It’s caring about yourself and others who you are impacting with your addiction.

If you don’t care, sobriety isn’t going to happen.

5 Likes

Inspirational post @CaptAZ I’m so happy that you managed to turn all that around! And 1000 days wow! :boom: that’s amazing! @Cannibal NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES! only you can change this. If you keep going like you are you are going to lose more and more. If you truly truly want to change you have to give it all you have got! I’m sure your family love you very much and watching this for them must be very difficult. I speak from my own experience and with :100:% love. Please, dump the booze! We are here for you :pray:t2::two_hearts:

3 Likes

Totally agree with you @Alliecat! You have to give it your everything otherwise it all just stays the same (if not worse) :+1::two_hearts:

1 Like