If you fail to plan, you plan to fail


Hi Jay here. I have been unable to get even 24 hrs under my belt for months. But I will not give up, i will not surrender! Every night I go to bed drunk and oblivious, tasks and responsibilities piling up at home, time lost that I could be bonding with my son. In the morning I detest myself, yet I try to keep positive and believe I can beat this. All day I read quotes,read everyone success stories, listen to motivational speec

Once the thought kicks in or the bewitching hour comes around I give in immediately. I know I dont want to drink and that I am a happier more efficient person without it, yet I desire to just not feel myself. I have decided I am worthy of love and loving myself, I am worthy of friends, success and happiness. But it starts with me. I have misused the last 15 years of my life hating, comparing and berating myself.

So this is my plan:
:heavy_check_mark:check in here in the mornings and evenings
:heavy_check_mark:take a different route home from work and stay as late as I can so the liquor store will be closed. Also no cash, no debit card.
:heavy_check_mark:no more self hate thoughts, I will turn every negative talk into a positive about myself
:heavy_check_mark:I will have a plan and schedule for my days off with my son
:heavy_check_mark:finish reading Rational Recovery
:heavy_check_mark:if the desire comes I will not acknowledge it as my desire but that of healthy animal body that has been deprived of a poison it got used to.
:heavy_check_mark:I will take a bath, nap, or go for a power walk.

I will no longer accept the desire to drink as my own but that of a healthy animal body that has been getting poisoned unknowingly and now I take back control and will no longer poison it or give in to it.

Thank you for always listening and taking me back sober friends!


That sounds like you have this down quite well actually. What I think helped me the most at the time when I was really struggling as you described was understanding that I need to let go of the idea that something positive will come of my drinking…I replaced it with the reality that if I have one drink it will cause a disaster…changing that mindset was a huge relief for me…good plan…you got this :slight_smile:


Thank you @Rain666! I also have given up the belief that I can drink moderately or that I TRULY have any desire at all to drink. It’s a habit with physical, financial, emotional, etc., consequences. I will not drink again. As you said, no first drink, no problems.

If we can do that, everything else has a solution


You got this :slight_smile:


I used to often tell myself "It only costs $7.41 to absoloutly ruin my life again. That and the fear of not knowing how many recoveries I have left in me got me through the first few months. Every once in a while I say it now.


what costs 7,41?


Forever is way long. We are only guarenteed today. I like to just worry about today. I have not drank today about 550 times. Works for me.


Sounds like you have a solid plan, that’s awesome. Stay strong.


A fifth of bottom shelf, Aristocrat vodka. That’s what I drank at least one of the last 2 or so years of my active alcoholism.


My 375ml of brandy also cost me 6.00 dollars. But really its was costing me my life!


Thank you! @Island-Girl


Your bottom shelf was expensive! Lol.


Maybe VA booze just has a higher tax rate. Same booze in NC was cheaper. But, my addiction lived in VA and that was the cost of a fifth. I wasn’t even going to bother if it wasn’t at least a fifth.


Yeah no doubt. When people talk about having 1, I think 1 fifth.


If you’re open to suggestions, for the turning negatives into positives piece I would suggest writing out some positives and sticking them in your wallet. Recovery is hard, when I got into that negative space about myself I needed to to have something physical to turn to.


@CaptAZ same for me here. I have no limits with alcohol. And when I drink I have no limits with anything else.


I am open to suggestions! Thank you @MissJ! I will do this but instead of my wallet I will take a picture and make it my phone background. (I rarely go in my wallet)


You guys need to get metric so baaad…I had to urban dictionary search how much this fifth is…and it turns out it refers to a fifth of a gallon, which is 757ml…but you don’t then really have bottles of fifths cause they are sold as 750ml…
Get metric!!! UGH!


Lol. I’ll get right on to lobbying for that. The 750ml was the little bottle, for when I was really broke. Otherwise I liked to buy the handle for $10


oh and btw…just checked the local price and the cheapest 0,7L bottle of vodka was 20 bucks…we tax alcohol heavily…