My wife will be out of town for three nights next week. I’ll be home alone. Perfect opportunity to drink all the beer I want and not hide it. I’ll be a month sober by then. I’m not saying I will drink but it’s a possibility. I’ll have to carefully be prepared for those days alone. The problem has been that I can return to drinking with little resistance and no guilt. Of course there would be the mornings after removing the cans and feeling
dehydrated. Regret would finally arrive as I would feel the need to start all over again. Hopefully I’ll have it together and resist the urge.
Congratulations on coming up to a month! Can I ask why you chose to stop drinking? Keeping that in my mind helped me lots to start with. I had to see alcohol for what it actually did to me and how terrible it made me feel, and constantly remind myself of it. Plus appreciating waking up hangover free, it’s such a good feeling!
Have you read any recovery books or got any recovery podcasts to listen to? Now might be a good time to stock up. Also get reading through the forum and bookmark anything that might help you. This thread has LOADS of good links to read through if you haven’t been through it already:
If you don’t feel like you can do it alone, you don’t have to! Reach out here, call a sober friend, find an AA meeting. There are options. Don’t make it harder for yourself than it needs to be
I hid my overindulgence by drinking alone for decades. I’m highly functional. No one would concider me having a problem like this. So now it’s up to me to privately turn away from it. Drink alone–recover alone. That’s why I can return to drinking without much resistance. I won’t be disappointing anyone if I start back drinking alone. No ones there to criticize me or congratulate me. It’s the perfect storm.
I think I’ll be ok now after writing and reading the replies. The wave of doubt has passed.
But not inevitable. You can decide now that you will not drink. You can make that commitment to yourself, to say “no” to the drink that matters…the first drink.
Meh…that’s your addict brain talking. That shady side of you who’s pleased to be getting something over on everyone else…that you can sneak and drink and no one will know. Try instead associating with the part of you where your integrity lies. That’s the heart of your sober you.they might not know that you drank while they were away…but you would. And honestly isn’t that the most important part? Why not use this coming weekend to treat yourself well and throw yourself into your sobriety? Treat yourself to something that relaxes you, either check out a meeting, or start reading a recovery book or two. Spend some time in quiet contemplation (hike maybe?) and write down all the reasons that you want to be sober. This is just my opinion…but time off and alone now for me, rather than being an open call to get shitfaced and end up feeling terrible by the end of the weekend…going back to work with even less energy than I finished the previous week with, is now a time to ACTUALLY slow down and rest and do things that replenish me. There’s definitely life after alcohol…and there’s rest and relaxation as well.
Keep fighting
Much Love,
Ely
I was left unsupervised this past week. There was all kinds of opportunities to drink. I chose not to. I didn’t even have an urge to. I kept very busy and next thing I know it was over. I did however have as dream I drank. In a few days it will be 8 months for me. No stopping me now!
I had to deal with the same thing a few weeks ago. I knew it was going to be rough. So I bought the Mini Big Book and just read that. Helped me out a lot. Good luck brotha. Keep us updated. Message me if you need to talk while she’s gone. I’m on here quite frequently.
If I did that I would be disappointed myself in a big way. It sort of seems like you’re setting yourself up to drink that weekend, and that you’re sorta ok with that if you do? If you only joined this forum because someone else has an issue with your drinking you may not have much success quitting. I quit drinking because I wanted a better life for myself that wasn’t ruled by the shit storm that alcohol brings with it
Thanks to all who have replied. This was very helpful and I feel much stronger and determined today. Day 25.
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.
This was todays opening remark on this app.
How perfect!
We’re all here! And it sounds like you have positive steps in place. I’d suggest getting out the house as much as possible, if you feel shaky. Sober friends, meetings, food shopping, stuff like that! I keep myself very busy with DIY or decorating projects. You can do this - you’ve done amazingly so far! X
maybe try a meeting dont have to try stay sober by yourself ,youl find plenty of people there been were you have been wish you well
Maybe coming clean to someone you trust would help keep you accountable?
None of us really do anything alone. Its part of being human I think, all our lives are more intertwined than we realise. Whether you know it or not your alcoholic behaviours will impact the people around you. As will your sobriety. Let them in and let them help. It’s good to have support!
And you have us! We are here to help and by sharing your story you will be helping others too
I think the fact that I saw this dangerous time approaching and reached out here several days in advance has avoided a disaster. Preparing in advance and identifying a rough road ahead gave me time to seek advice,
search my own knowledge and plan a detour to avoid a collision that would harm me and possibly others.
If I waited until the last minute I would probably go around the danger signs and be headed for trouble giving little thought to the outcome.
I think @siand said it perfectly, coming clean to someone to help keep you sober…
I know in the beginning that I literally told every single person I met that I was sober… I didn’t do it to boast but to hold myself accountable… Bblc I knew if other ppl knew they would be watching me waiting to see if I would slip up… Lol well that hasn’t happened and it’s been 4 years. I also confided in ppl I could trust, my friends would call me and check on me…
I also would go to meetings bc Fridays and Saturdays ppl usually like to hang out after the meeting and go out to eat til late… So by the time I got home I was exhausted and ready for bed… Find a meeting and tell ppl you are feeling squirrely… Someone will talk to you, plus it’s good to have sober friends… It’s obvious that you your wife can’t keep you sober when you are left to your own devices, so you need to learn how to stand on your own to feet…
The fact that you have already thought about it says alot…
You need to reach out to ppl in your area and friends who are willing to hang with you and not drink… If u don’t have friends that can’t go a night without booze, they aren’t great ppl to be around in your frame of mind… Go to AA, Google meetings and find a support group… Bc ur wife can’t do this for you…
You have to learn how to live sober… You got this though… But u can’t do it alone
This could also be the perfect opportunity for you to do a project around your house. I know personally I have to keep my self busy from the time I wake up til the time I go to bed. I don’t give my Mind the chance to think about it, I’m to busy doing other things.
Oh yeah good call! Hey @edward_g Is there a project around the house you could throw yourself Into (when you’re not contemplating and hiking and reading of course:slight_smile:️) like a room that needs to be painted or a basement that needs emptying out or refinishing? Those feel great when you’re done and…I’m not sure if your drinking has put you on the rocks with your family at all…but the productiveness we show in sobriety can help show our family how serious we are and how hard we’re trying…just a thought:slight_smile:️
There are plenty of projects that have gone undone for years.
Good idea.
I’m going to assume you have gotten rid of the alcohol in your house? Not having easy access to it will help if you have a weak moment this weekend.