I’ve been struggling with a relapse lately and after a meeting at a rehab place I chose to try and kick the habit again and I’m 5 days clean now. It’s still tempting to text my dealer again but first of all I know I don’t have the money for drugs and secondly I feel kinda motivated to stay clean. My care team are still figuring out the technicalities of getting me into a rehab program, I might end up hospitalized for a month, and I might even get a housing arrangement so I can finally leave my abusive ex, so I feel pretty good about myself. Also I predict that in a few months from now I’ll finally stabilize financially which makes me feel good too. I just need to stick to staying clean and not buy more drugs even if I want to or feel like I need them.
To add to that I overheard my ex speaking to his own carers, he was talking about finding me high and I THINK I heard he wants to involve police so on top of staying clean for my own sake I also threw out any leftover drugs that I had, mostly weed, so if the cops do come they won’t find anything incriminating in my possession. I think it’s pretty fucked that my ex (might) want to involve police in this, as if my life wasn’t hard enough already…But anyway, yeah, 5 days clean and counting.
