I’m 26 and still at university. (Croatia)
My parents and friends, well everybody, thinks that this week I’ve given my last bacc. exam and will be finally enroling into my Master studies and I am going to repeat year 2 again. This is the last chance I’ve got to sort things out before getting kicked out. I enrolled 4 years ago, and have only 2 more years to finish my bacc. studies before getting expelled, which is exactly how long they will last. On top of that I have 2 more years of master studies. I don’t even know how I will get out of this situation without telling anybody. And all because of my laziness. I work part time and all, but that is no excuse whatsoever. I just can’t push myself!
I didn’t even tell my boyfriend who is waiting for us to get married after i finisih my studies, not knowing it will take another 4 years instead of 2.
This has all made my drinking problem 10 times worse because it’s the only time I’m not stressed.
Somebody, please help me, I beg you!
Okay first thing is your not a failure. You may have made some bad choices and it might have done some damage but you, yourself is not a failure. Failure is saying you give up. Period. For this you are reaching out for help with mean there is hope.
Second is try and make a realistic step for yourself to do tomorrow. Like maybe trying to stop drinking?
Even if you have a hard time trying to stop setting it in your head, making the choice is very powerful.
As far as school goes i have a question are you gonna get kicked out after you do two years or is this your last chance?
When it comes to your boyfriends i think being honest is the best route and maybe figuring out together what you need to do. Wither that means figuring out a compromise or something but nkt tellimg him will hurt your relationship more. If you wanna marry him you both need to be honest.
Truat is so important.
Regarding school. If I fall any more exams in the next 2 years I’ll get kicked out from the bacc. course. So if I get my things together from now on I still can make it.
And my boyfriend, I feel like shit for not telling him and now I just think things can go downhill if I say it. Both our families are expecting our wedding. He wouldn’t even mind if we get married today, but I’ve always said that I first want to finish school. I want to be somebody, but the truth is that I’m not putting in the effort.
Okay well it seems like you understand the what it takes. You just gotta be serious this time around.
Personally im thinking the drinking will make it very hard to go forward.
I understand your feeling of fear tho I still think you should ne honest.
Something to think about is why you might not feel like “something” now? A job doesn’t make you, you.
Based of my opion(and it my opion so take with a grain of salt) it common for people to put there worth in things outside of themselves and you are something regardless of what you do. After that if you want to do something farther then hell ya.
I think my main point is why wait? He should and seems to love you for you now or after. Why not love you for you now?
Just something to think about. I dont know you motives or life so ultimatly you know.
This does sound serious but you need to be kinder to yourself or you’ll never get through. You say you are lazy well I say you are not. Laziness is not a character flaw, it is a symptom of something else. It is a way to avoid our fears and insecurities. And you are drinking away those negative feelings too. But aboiding and numbing don’t fix the problem they only make them worse down the line.
First…TALK TO PEOPLE. Tell your family, tell your friends, tell your boyfriend. They love you and want to succeed. Be vulnerable to them and ask for help. It may not go well immediately, there might be some anger, but in time you may find they are your greatest cheerleaders.
Two…get serious help for the alcohol. I’m confident if you can get that out of your life you will be able to succeed at your studies. But this forum might not be enough. Find an AA meeting if you can or maybe talk with your doctor, but find some help in your community, help from people who truly understand what you are going through.
I know you are scared because you are littered on your last chance but I know you can do it if you have support and are dedicated to it.
