so l told a guy I like about my alcoholism few weeks ago and today he made a “joke” along the line of “well at least I’m not an alcoholic at [age]”. honestly I feel betrayed it’s awful because it made me pour a drink for myself and now I’m starting to have serious suicidal ideations
so yeah… fun !
the first time I feel comfortable enough to talk about my alcoholism, my trust is wasted on a fucking joke. I feel like all I am is just a punchline to everyone, no matter what I do and who I am I’ll never be respected
I imagine that hurts. He abused your trust, and your vulnerability. But you aren’t a fool. Any romantic relationship involves leaving yourself vulnerable. “Trust must be earned” only appears to be wisdom, after we’ve been burned a few times.
Keep sobering on. Don’t let someone else’s character flaws stop you from getting better at getting better.
Well that is a disrespectful comment. But it says way more about them, than anything about you IMHO.
We should all be so lucky to make such a healthy choice for ourselves at [age].
I have a few things to consider…1) often our sobriety makes others nervous, so they joke about it…it makes them consider their own relationship with alcohol; 2) we all blurt out dumb ass stuff sometimes…and we all deserve a little grace, yourself included…3) drinking at feelings never helps us, it does the opposite as you are finding out and most especially 4) you are worthy of love and kindness and respect from others and MOST importantly from your self.
Please throw out any more alcohol. Please continue to share here or reach out to a kind trusted friend for support. The world needs you here.
I can totally understand why that hurt to hear im sorry ur going thru that. Quite frankly, that horrible joke that he made says more about him than it does you. It shows his lack of concern and compassion for another human being. How low does someone have to be to make a comment like this? He took something personal about u and made a very poor joke. Please dont let him or his comment continue to cause u to self harm with alcohol. He truly isnt worth renting space in ur head or ruining ur recovery. So what if ur young and in recovery? Nothing wrong with that! I was 16 years old when i knew I was a drug addict. 16 when i went into drug treatment. 21 when i went to my 1st NA mtg. I also recieved comments about being young and an addict. People said things and i wouod say that they *made me use". I understand now that no one can make me do anything. No one can force me to use or drink. That was a choice I made out of feeling hurt. Im 37 now and wish i wouldve stuck around and not let people influence me and my recovery so easily. Stand strong and firm in what u believe in. Do whats best for YOU
That guy sounds like he’s behaving like a deflecting asshole. I am so sorry that happened to you! That would have really hurt my feelings.
We can’t control who respects us, but we can set heavy boundaries with people that don’t.
I hope you can find comfort in something safe in the meantime, and find your stable ground.
You can do this, and you are worthy of kindness, support, and respect
You are not a fool, you are a person who deserves being listened and cared. You are beloved and with a problem that is the problem of so many here .
The good thing of your experience is that you know who is a good friend and who is a moron
Oh thats horrible. Im so sorry you had to deal with that! Dont let some assholes comment be an excuse for your addiction tho. Get back on the sober horse and leave him in your dust
I’m so sorry that your first venture into sharing ended like that. As alcoholics or addicts we fight hard to stay sober, and that should be respected. If someone doesn’t, then find someone else.
I’m sorry that happened. You don’t deserve that disrespect.
He’s an ass and you deserve better. And as you keep going on your sober journey you will meet more people who value this lifestyle and can show respect for the commitment it takes to carry it out.
You are not a fool. You are a strong and healthy person who knows what they want. Keep on being sober and have faith that the more you love yourself, the more that other loving people will be drawn to you.
I don’t know how close you are to him but I filterd out all of my fake friends
Even some real ones
I said yes yes yes for a long time
The moment I said no, a switch went off and the bad guys actually left me
As for the good friends that I put behind me, they were just unsafe
A good friend with drugs could get me in a lot of trouble
When I first got into sobriety I had a hard time saying no. It was always yes I’ll go in get the weed or I’ll go to the liquor store
Then when I said no they were use to yes so they got mad at me
Like really I’d get shamed for not going to the liquor store for THEM. It took a long time to fix that issue
This lasted a long time and it was very hard to control
no1 really knows what’s good for you but you
But the ones who approach me in compassion, respect and love might have better chance to be in my life then someone who is mean
He might not of known what he was getting into about that comment. But from experience, love love love yourself and find out who you are
Your young
That’s fine
I don’t drink everyday
That’s good
We are experiencing issues with our drinking. We are experiencing issues with ourselves. Something needed to change.
Sobriety might not change anything right away but real life will be easier to comprehend (dealing with life issues)
Your not a fool
All my friends were my friend when I was getting them drunk or high
I stopped and they left. It ended up being better this way
It takes a long time to learn what @SassyRocks put so succinctly. Often when people make a disrespectful comment it has more to do with the speaker than the recipient. That guy probably worries that he won’t ever have the clarity to admit his faults.
You have, and you’ve found a supportive community who understands you when you speak those words. Pour out the drinks, turn in for the night and start being a fabulous sober person again tomorrow.
I am so sorry for you! People can be so insensitive. And what I have learned about my own alcoholic mind, is I am very sensitive too. I work on that everyday. That’s the only thing I can control or be aware of. Having said that I can also be defiant, in a good way. I would not let that F—-ing guy have any piece of my heart by his insensitivity. That would be enough to influence me to keep working on my reactions to things I cannot control. As for trust, that’s another thing we have in common. I don’t trust anyone because of hurts like these. So my answer is to eliminate experiences and people from my life so I don’t have to ever go through it. Which causes me to seek a friend elsewhere. One in a glass that doesn’t talk back. At least when I’m drunk I can’t hear it. And on and on it goes. Difficult to break but I can and you can. The drink won’t help. All of us are here for you!
You know what? You were brave to tell him. Right now my partner is packing his things and leaving me because i didnt tell him at the beginning. I told him just now, 12 months into our relationship. He feels betrayed, understandably. So you did the right thing, i did totally the wrong thing. And that idiot guy can f off. Well done you, i wish i had done that and not tried to hide it
im sorry ur going thru that. Quite frankly, that horrible joke that he made says more about him than it does you. It shows his lack of concern and compassion for another human being. How low does someone have to be to make a comment like this? 
