Before my addiction I was about 220 pounds and during my addiction I went down to 139 pounds, I felt great and the last thing I wanted to do was get clean and be heavy set again. Now I’m clean and heavy set again, I think I may just be giving myself a hard time but it’s gotten to a point where I feel like everyone who sees me is judging me and comparing me to those around me and who I used to be.
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Welcome Victoria! I can absolutely relate to what ur saying. When i was in active addiction, i was very thin… almost too thin to be honest. But when i got clean i gained alot of weight! I switched addictions from drugs to food and began using food to cope. Its been a bit of a process but im slowly working on using food for the right reasons. And the nice thing about weight is that it is changeable. Its not permanent if we dont want it to be. We can begin to start taking better care of ourselves while being clean and sober. With the right nutrition and exercise, its possible to get to a healthy weight and truly be healthy emotionally, mentally, and physically 
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Thank you 
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Hi Victoria,
Body image and being comfortable with ourselves is hugely important - BUT - being clean and sober outranks almost every other consideration. Being clean and sober, we learn to deal with a myriad of issues, including those that led us to drink.
When I quit smoking, more so than when I quit drinking, I started eating. I discovered I had used smoking to manage my anger, and the feeling of getting amped up on cigarettes and coffee distracted me from the terrible avalanche of feelings I went through when I got angry. I started eating to try to satisfy the oral fixation that was reinforced by decades of smoking, and to “make myself feel better” about being upset.
It took time, work with a dietitian and finally a fascination with running and then triathlon, and I did get my weight back to where I felt really good about it. Nowadays, due to injury and aging, I am reaching a new understanding of feeling good about my body, and it does not match the 152 pounds “fighting weight” I maintained when I was racing hard and training hard.
I woke up sober this morning, and will go to bed sober tonight. That is a win.
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As has been already said, you being clean trumps everything. You are a worthy person whatever your size. But if it bothers you, you can for sure lose weight slowly and healthily now you have the energy and clarity. I gained a lot when I quit drinking. I was struggling with disordered eating, and binge-purge/restrict became binge-binge. But I gave myself a year to get the drinking under control, and then another year dealing with the binging before I tried to lose any weight. Health is a marathon, not a sprint, so make small changes that can be a lifelong habit.
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I just wrote this to another topic. I can relate, Victoria. I met my doctor today and he made a really nasty comment about how I have gained weight. Now I feel like a total loser and I want to drown these feeling on weed and booze, I have serious cravings. But I don’t want to relapse.
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Agreed. Clean and sober trumps all.
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Love yourself. You are worth more than giving in to substances.
You got this!
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Thank you, my friend. I’m really struggling today, feel like giving up.
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Yes I told have heard this from my doctor. And it took a toll on my mental health for sure. Do some self care. You deserve peace! Also that doctor can FRO! If gaining weight is the temporary (or even permanent) price to pay for sobriety, it’s worth it!
Hang in there friend 
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Victoria, if they are comparing you to your old self, they should compare how unhappy and unhealthy you were in addiction, to how happy and how much you are growing in sobriety! Hang in there friend. 
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I’m sorry your md takked to you that way. Time to find a new one. You need one that understands you are in recovery and that not using and or drinking is more important to your overall health. The weight will come off. Whether it is sobriety or weight management it is journey not a destination.
Hugs to you.
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Thank you for your words, my friend. You are right, sobriety is the main thing.
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Message me. I am here to help you. We will get through this. Everything will be ok.
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Sometimes, we give up one substance only to replace it with another. I don’t know the OP, but I wonder if food isn’t taking the place of the original addictive substance?
I used food to deal with cravings and feelings after I stopped drinking and smoking, and it took a while before I got my food intake back to normal portions and healthier options.
My sponsor told me that awareness was very useful, and I could get my weight under control once I felt stable doing without the drink. So by the time I had a year clean, I was able to begin shedding those unnecessary lbs. and eat healthy.
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You’re absolutely right. For some reason I have replaced the one with the other and sometimes I feel trapped by it. I’m just praying that I’ll see the light at the end of this tunnel
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