First time back on this app in 5 years. Last time was opiates. I am 5 years clean from opiates come August. Unfortunately after my mom passed in 2021 I shortly turned to alcohol. First it was just selzters then it became vodka. The little shooter bottles, everyday. I was hiding it from my boyfriend and my family the past 2 years. I got soo drunk a month ago i ended up with a concussion and had no choice but to tell my seceret. After getting a sponser and telling my family. I felt soo ashamed and exposed. I began to spiral and drank myself to the point of alcohol poisoning. My boyfriend took me to the ER. (This happened once more after that) But this time they found out I had pneumonia and decided to admit me into the hospital. They have been helping me detox with medicines and im scheduled to go back home today. Then to a rehab hopefully soon after (medical record transfer pending). This is soo terrifing and Im soo mad at myself for letting myself get to this point. 
Sorry to hear all you have gone through. It’s scary how quickly our lives can spiral back out of control when it comes to addiction. I went through a similar situation. I’m happy you are getting the help you need and that you came back to talking sober. You’re not alone. Take care of you.
Welcome back and glad to hear you’re on the road to recovery. It’s not unusual to trade one drug for another or try something different. But at least now you know that you have to do complete abstinence and you can’t do any drugs or alcohol. Obviously nobody wants to end up in the hospital or detox or rehab but at least you’re getting help and getting back on track. Plus it must feel like a little bit of relief to not have to be tiptoeing around and hiding everything. My drug of choice is opiates and alcohol so I definitely understand and they can be honestly pretty similar Or at least it was similar for me especially the physical withdrawals and consequences. Sometimes in the past I would use alcohol to come off and A opiate binge and deal with withdrawal But then I would be drinking every day or spend years trading one for another or telling myself well I’m not doing opiates at least or vice versa but this time when I got sober I realized that complete abstinence was Key and I can’t successfully drink or do drugs and it’s not the end of the world it’s actually making things easier to accept that I’m not going to figure out a secret formula or a way to beat the game. It’s easier to surrender and walk away. Right now your goal should be to complete the medical detox and get your immediate health taken care of. One thing at a time. But definitely getting a sponsor and working the steps and going to meetings will be very beneficial when you leave the hospital. All you have to do is the best you can for today and commit to sobriety for 24 hours and then repeat tomorrow. Everything will come together for you and life will only continue to get better the longer you stay sober from everything. Right now things might seem overwhelming but that’s totally normal. You have an opportunity to get your life together so take the opportunity!
Thank you! And yes its terrifying how it just sucks you right back in!
Wow, you are soo right! It does feel like a huge relief being able to be honest. It doesnt feel real bc of lying for soo long. And i totally get the whole telling yourself one thing to justify another. I actually had a sponsor before i was admitted to the hospital and im still working with her on getting into this really nice rehab. The hospital stay was hell but got me through the worst of detox and i have 5 days sober under my belt! I have a long ways to go and still lots of meds to take but i want to do better and want to be better. Its just really scary and anxiety filled to the max!
Congrats on five days that’s really awesome. I definitely understand having the anxiety right now and that’s pretty normal and your brain is adjusting to being without alcohol and you’re probably over thinking and worried about so many different things. But you’re doing what you have to do for your recovery and for your life right now. Now is the time to talk to your higher power or whatever you believe in and ask for guidance and help and just have a regular conversation with whatever you believe in. And if I’m being honest feeling a little uncomfortable is actually good progress. It means your own your way to a better life. Don’t be afraid of reaching out on here or reading around a bunch. Utilize and reach out to your sponsor. Since your still in the detox process maybe even do a zoom AA meeting or listen to a audio one on YouTube. There is hundreds on there. Basically what I’m saying is that you’re not alone and there is hope. Everything will come together.
Thank you soo much! I did it with dr assistance but I still did it! And yes i having been praying to god everyday to help push me through this rough patch. i have been reading a lot of other peoples stories on here, but ill definitely give a podcast a try I didnt even think of that. Seriously thank you soo much for reaching out. It means more than you know!
