In 2023 I went to a lot of meetings. They helped me get my first 3 month streak of sobriety. I stopped when I went to rehab which I quit on new years eve and I basically used all this year with the exception of about two month’s.
I always knew the people in the meetings would welcome me back with open arms in fact I met some of them by accident and they told me that. But I didnt want to quit using and I was also having meetings with social worker and drug counselor twice a week which felt enough.
But two days ago something changed. Nothing unusual happened except I used more ketamine in one day than I ever did before, 12 gram when back when I started I just needed 150mg for a day. It doesnt make sense to keep using. Also my bladder, kidneys, nose, skull and stomach hurt.
I felt sick and still craved more.
All in all the side effects were bearable but I dont want to bear them anymore. And it all combined and the fact that I dont really get much of the high made me realize Im going into dead ends with the drug. So for tomorrow I picked one of my favourite meetings and to hold myself accountable I wrote this post. So tomorrow’s the day, 18:00 to 20:00.
Its not NA or AA meetings its just regular self help meetings for addicts but I guess they arent that different from 12 steps meetings.
What made you go back to meetings after a pause? Or what keeps you going there? Any stories on how meetings benefit you? That might help me
Hi @Dreams well done for wanting to put it all down . I relapsed after 2 months of meeting s and ended up back it there and MUCH WORSE back out for another 3 years. I was pretty much the same I could bear another hangover but didn’t want to bear anymore lies to myself . I was sick and tired of waking up saying I want to quit then using again before the afternoon came . When I finally stopped I needed medical intervention because I had to have alcohol as soon as I opened my eyes because the shakes and panic were too bad I was chronic . What keeps me in meetings is having kinship with people who understand as others who aren’t addicts never will and being able to give back my experience strength and hope to the newcomers, also doing service to show my gratitude .I wish you well on your journey and be sure to share on here when you feel the urge to use
It took me a loooong time to realize, but i now know that recovery is an every day thing that i must actively be participating in. We have a daily reprieve from our addictions. I dont go to in person 12 step meetings right now, but i do go to online ones. I keep coming back bcuz i need the community of people, i need to remember what it was like, and i need to work the program which the meetings help with.
I started attending 12 step meetings in 2001. I went to in person CA, AA, and NA meetings for 10 years. I did the 90 meetings in 90 days. In fact i did more than that, sometimes going twice a day. I lived in those rooms lol. I gained the longest amount of clean time of 3 years while attending meetings regularly. They absolutely work!! But they only work if i put in the effort. Once i started resting on my laurels and backing away from mtgs, i relapsed. Now i continue to attend online mtgs bcuz again, i need to work on my recovery on a daily basis.
People in those rooms will absolutely welcome u with open arms again. Hopefully ur self help mtg for addicts will be helpful for u It may differ from an actual 12 step mtg, depends if they go thru the 12 steps in ur group. But if not, i highly suggest finding an actual 12 step mtg seeing how the program itself, is what saves alot of us addicts and alcoholics
Hey, Im glad you replied too. Whenever I read stuff like your comment, I am reminded of how similar all our stories and struggles and also goals are. I think I will follow up on how the meeting went tomorrow.
What a weird and contradictory way of living. Thinking every evening that was my last day of using and right when I wake up I try getting more. Im pretty excited for the meeting now
Thanks I wish you the best too. Ive been reading in the Big Book and also once did an online AA meeting but in my area there are no in person 12 step meetings I looked everywhere even on a certain 12 step meeting finder websites and if I have the chance Ill definitely go into an in person 12 step meeting.
I need in person meetings more than online ones I get a lot of connection with personal groups. Ive been doing 3 meetings a week for about 10 month’s and theyve been amazing. It didnt matter if I relapsed or if I even wanted to stop completely already. I just had to have the desire to be sober and be clean when I got to the meeting. Ive met the most loving wonderful kind people there, inspirational heroes, of all walks of life and social circles.
I was amazed often at how welcoming these people could be. Many of them 20-40 years older than me xD I always was the youngest one with my 21 years but no one cared because in there we are all the same. No matter if I was on day 1 or day 90 they respected and valued me and thats why I always had the thought of going there again in the back of my mind. Because no matter how much I used I always wanted to get sober again and now is the time to work for it
Glad you’re here and going back into meetings. “Meeting makers make it” was what I was told by my 1st sponsor and I still believe it.
I continue to attend for a many reasons. I’m at ease there, I have something to give to the group and they to me. I see new folks who look rough, beat down & share their hearts of personal recent struggles and it’s a reminder of what it was like and where I don’t ever need to be again. And, they keep me centered, humble and willing to do my HPs will and not my own.
It may differ from an actual 12 step mtg, depends if they go thru the 12 steps in ur group. But if not, i highly suggest finding an actual 12 step mtg seeing how the program itself, is what saves alot of us addicts and alcoholics