So I shared today to a childhood friend that I am in recovery and have been clean and sober for over 3 years. I quit everything the day after our mutual lifelong friend drank himself to death. Well my friend starts spouting off and is bad mouthing 12 Step Recovery. He’s says it’s bullshit, doesn’t work and that I am brainwashed and in a cult. So I responded that it is my cult, and it works for me. I told him that my alcoholic and addict brain needed washing. I closed the conversation by stating that we’re all unique and that my path is mine and what I do may not be suited for everyone. It should be noted that my friend is an alcoholic addict active in his addictions and lifestyle. He is the oldest of 4 brothers, the others all died from their lifestyle and lifestyle. This guy is divorced, addict, alcoholic living with his mom. I shake my head in disbelief that this guy is trying to judge my lifestyle and taking my recovery and life inventory. I am not mad at him but more saddened and I pity him.
my misses said AA was a load of gang bangers who were brain washing me so I said I hope so, I hope it’s that easy 
. I pray that these people never have a reason to go and I pray that if they do have a reason then that’s exactly where they find themselves.
I do agree with the brain washing though bc we are looking for a solution and they are telling us and showing us exactly what needs to be done. If we want to be sober 20 years then follow the leader for 20 years. 
When people say that we are brainwashed and in a cult I laugh. I am fully aware of what I am doing, I am in charge of my mental faculties and I am doing this willingly. Fortunately my family and most of my other friends fully support me in my recovery path. This kind of fell in line with the post I made about moving on in recovery. It was kind of prophetic because I wrote that prior to talking with my friend.
Definition of Cult:
a relatively small group of people having religious beliefs or practices regarded by others as strange or sinister.
AA strange? I would ask how so.
AA sinister? There’s nothing sinister about AA.
Knowledge is empowerment. 
100% feel you. And love the “yeah, well I needed a good brain washing” comment. I heard an old timer say that once laughing about comments like these.
I have a friend who also still struggles. When I came clean about my drinking and getting sober, he picked up from my behavior I’m in a 12 step program. Then proceeded to insinuate they’re bad for you, and shared what he recommended instead. (Things I had heard of, and frankly think some are crackpot.)
My thought: Well. I have sustained sobriety and am happy, and you… are still seeking. So… I’m good.
My words: “That’s great, thank you for the advice.”
Maybe it isn’t for everyone, but why anyone would poo-poo something that helps someone else get right, I’ll never understand. My business, not yours! Moving on.
Also don’t wanna put him off though. He’s a good friend and has (kind of…) come to me about how he’s doing. Hope he finds what works.
If people who call AA a cult are still active in their addiction then what do they know?
It’s their addiction talking. I wouldn’t have believed AA would work for me a few years back. I’d have probably thought all the bad things about it because I wasn’t ready to get sober.
Those who know know! I guess.
No that I actively do AA,. I just know how it’s helpful to those who use it
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but all opinions are not entitled to being valued. The broke economics professor’s opinions on personal finance. . The shop teacher with missing fingers opinions on safe use of power tools. The person mired in active addictions opinion on another’s sobriety.
To be fair, a broke economist or de-limbed shop teacher might have great advice on what not to do.
That’s kind of like my parents, they both died from the effects of their addictions and lifestyle way too soon, they both taught me valuable lessons on how Not to live.
I used to be in a recognised cult called Exegesis, and I thought it was for my benefit at the time . I broke out of it when I realised that this was not the case.
Whether or not AA is a cult is debatable (there is no agreed definition of religious and “self-improvement” cults), and which cults are malevolent is also debatable and subjective. I respect people’s freedom to decide whether a 12 step programme is for them, and I think it is not for everybody, but I do not respect their opinion if they criticise it from a perspective of ignorance and do not have a viable alternative proposition. 
I think my friend was just trying to justify his dysfunctional life in active addiction. The funny thing is I never judged him or preached to him. It all started when he saw a picture of my 3 years soberversary coin on facebook. I wasn’t an asshole to him in return, I just stated my opinion from my personal perspective and then moved. I hope he finds what he needs and wants before it is too late. I am sick and fucking tired of the damn disease of addiction killing off my family and friends. For another day clean and sober I am grateful.
In my A.A. meetings l, there’s an old-timer who likes to announce to anyone new who thinks it’s culty “Don’t worry, we dont sacrifice the goat until you get you 3 months clean.” 
Sometimes, we just have to remember we all have our opinions and the best way to change a person’s viewpoint is by living the program and showing our growth. It is a program of attraction, not promotion. Congrats on your 3 years.
My late mum used to say you off to your club tonight lol
I have studied religions (and cults) for decades. AA is a support group; group therapy, really. It gives you your life back, not require you to take it or surrender it to someone/something else.
It sounds to me like he has formed a cognitive distortion to protect his own coping mechanism.
Good for you defending yourself, and it sounds as if it were done lovingly.
Thank you. It breaks my heart to see so many of my friends and family struggle and die from their addictions and lifestyle. But preaching to them is worthless. If they ever get to the point that they ask for help, then I will extend the hand of AA/NA etcetera to them. Until then they have my prayers.
I am an Excommunicated Mormon apostate, so I know cults lol. AA and NA are my spiritual path now.
I’m born and raised in a small pentecostal church. The very late realization (like a few weeks ago) that I was actually raised in a real cult wasn’t fun at all, and I’m still struggling with that. I don’t go to AA I had great support from NA years ago and I definitely wouldn’t call that a cult. We could all need some support doing what we’re doing, AA or NA 12 steps isn’t for everyone but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Keep fighting and use AA if that works for you.
What is great in today’s information age there are numerous approaches to recovery. 12 Step programs are just one of the many programs and systems out there.