So this is the first time I’ve admitted that I have a drinking problem, and that going fully sober is the only way as moderation obviously doesn’t work for me anymore.
It’s been officially 4 days since my last drink after spending the last few years drinking at least 4-5 bottles of wine a week.
I’m finding it so difficult more so in the evenings to stay sober than during the day.
Does anyone else have this issue? What do you do to distract yourself when you’re alone in the evenings with not much else to do before bed?
Before bed is a hard time because I would usually fall asleep from the sedation of the alcohol. Being active throughout the day can help you fall asleep. But doing something creative like drawing or even writing about how you are feeling in the moment can fill that time of craving a drink. Drinking for me was making my boring times of the day less boring without really doing anything. Living life on life’s terms is hard no doubt. But once those boring times are filled with enjoyable things life will be amazing. I’m working on this. Great job on the 4 days!
Great job on the four days! Mornings are definitely easier than afternoons and evenings. Probably because we drink more in the afternoon and it’s like we have a little alarm clock in our brain that goes off. The one thing that remember is the urge to drink comes but it does go away in a relatively short time. Eating something helps me for some reason probably because I drank in the afternoon Saturday empty stomach. Even if you have to lay down and watch TV or do nothing it is better than drinking. Most people Say to stay active by exercising or doing chores but for me sometimes I have to just except that I’m gonna do nothing, and that is something if I don’t drink.
Congratulations on coming here and on the 4 days! I think all of us that has alcohol as our DOC has that problem, we can’t drink in moderation.
Someone posted the other day to write down things you can do to take your mind off, anything that you enjoy alcohol free works. I wrote down: read new books, magazines. Play phone or tablet games, I’ve been playing Candy Crush. Come here and read, post often, there’s tons of info. Clean, straighten up your place. I realized I’ve been neglecting a lot when drinking. Yoga, exercise or go for a walk. That’s what I’m trying so far.
And TREAT yourself for any success, I tend to use food, or something new I’ve wanted to try. Anything that’s not booze is a win!
Stay strong, you can do it, we’re all here for you and support you!
Congrats on the 4 days. One thing you can do to distract yourself at night before bed is maybe get into the Big Book of A.A., or basic text book from N.A. . I read both. Maybe check out some meetings to build a solid support group, possibly snatch up a sponsor, ND if you’re really tryna change everything work some steps. That can come in time in the mean time jeep doin what youre doin good sh**. Stay blessed in recovery
Evenings were tough for me in the early days. I used that time to catch up on here and interact with others. Also, attended AA meetings both in person and online. I found I had to put the same effort (or more) into my recovery as I put into drinking and drugging.
Yes, i went through the struggles also. Changing up my routine helped. I started going for a walk after dinner (empty pockets, no card or cash), puzzles, self care ie meditating, bath, online meetings or sobriety podcasts. I also went to night time AA meetings especially on friday and Saturday nights as the weekends were tougher also.
Hey Clifford, I did read your post on the other thread and was putting together a reply but then it disappeared. If you feel comfortable doing so, you can start a new thread with that post again - I’m sure you will get some really useful support! You’re doing great with 3 days and I know its tough to do alone. Just reach out to us at any time, you’re not alone here.
I’m 5 days completely sober now. Getting myself into a routine of work, swimming, dissertation work and reading a book before bed. Getting there slowly.
Here goes again, my names clifford im 22 im an alcoholic.
I been chasing the buzz for 5 years now, while chasing that buzz at the bottom of a bottle, i found the love of my life. Shes 39 with two kids, the ages of 15 and 17
We got a house together
We got engaged, and had plans for life and a future as a family together.
While chasing that buzz i threw it all away.
We would get into so many fights.
I loved her to much to keep putting her through it.
So i left her, the kids, and the house.
When i relaized what i did, i drank even more and more everyday.
I spent more and more time at the bar, i soon realized that she had gotten a job working at the bar i attended on a regularly bases.
Their would be small talk here and their with me and her.
The i dont wanna talk to you, im entilted to feel how i feel, and your entitled to feel how you feel type of thing.
As the nights would go on.
It got to a point where i would have a few to many and I would have a few bar fights in the parking lot here and their, It was the alcohols fault. Because i don’t enjoy fighting.
I know, Yes I know its my fault, i take full accountability for my actions.
Suicide was an option for me at one point.
I knew i screwed up something i had that was good.
She was really good to me, she took care of me and all my needs, as i did for her as a man.
I had a mental breakdown, i shaved my head because it was better than taking my own life.
So i knew i had to quit drinking, because either the alcohol would kill me, or i would get to deep over my head and be in a really bad situation.
Now im seeking help.
whelp.when i was 21 and fresh out of jail i helped my dad catch up on his house and truck note.
Yea aint that something, and we would drink every night.
I would ask him does this mean were alcoholics, he would tell me no, alcoholics drink everyday all day, its ok to have 4 or 5 beers everyday to take off the edge.
I thought it was ok. Because he thought it was ok.
I knew me asking that, their was something wrong with him telling me that.
I felt like an alcoholic, thats why i asked him that.
Then it progressed and i would have 1-2 mixed drinks every day. To take off the edge after a hard days work.
Now after I have come to realize that im an alcoholic, because my dad made me think thats not what an alcoholic is, but in fact it is.
Its the dependency of a foreign substance to take the freaking edge off.
Before realizing i was an alcoholic i was spending 60$ every 4 days for. 4-15 packs of keystones and a bottle of jack.
I knew something had to change. I was an alcoholic
At the end of drinking my danger time was between getting off work and my husband coming home. For me I had to keep my mouth and hands busy. Apps and books in the train. Tea and mints on hand. Definite plans for cooking, picking the kids up, cleaning. I regularly rewarded myself with the money I saved from not drinking, in the early months, and looked forward to those things.
It is not the amount you drink, but the lack of control and the damage you cause. I am sorry to hear about your relationship. What are you doing to quit drinking? It is hard to do randomly and alone. I know I needed guidance and support.
When i left my ex i started working nights to keep my mind going but nights where i work are only till 10pm, so from 10pm till 2am was when the bar was still open so i would go and boy would i regret it the next day.
So i started spendimg more time playing with my dog when i got home. Go for walks in the park after dark. Or play the xbox.
I need to get a sketch pad so i can start drawling again. Keep my mind busy and a little more focused
Art is a great idea and an excellent outlet. Definitely changing up your routine will help. Nothing changes if nothing changes right? So creating a kind of list of things to do instead after work will help.
Also maybe if you’re into fitness or running, doing that in the morning may also motivate you to not drink after work as you’ll want to feel rested (and nothing is worse than working out when you’re hungover lol). Exercise is also awesome for mental health and helping us feel better about ourselves.
I created a type of “toolbox” with things to do instead of picking up a drink. And when the urges became strong I would make myself work through that toolbox before picking up a drink. More times than not, it distracted me and got me through those urges.
Got to take it one day at a time and focus on getting through each day as it comes. Tomorrow? Tackle that tomorrow. Today is your focus and the focus for that 24 hours is to not pick up that first drink and put a sober head on your pillow. As the days build, new habits form and it does get easier to manage.
Stay blessed in recovery
so i would go and boy would i regret it the next day.