Thankyou Lainenicole96, well day 2 and feel quite alright, usually feel shite for 3-4 days after my last drink. Yesterday I opened the fridge and saw 3 cans of carling and 20cigs on the side, all went into the bin, I actually felt ill looking at them, usually I’d be like well I’ve paid for them so I’m not wasting them, not this time, sick of it. Had some strange dreams of flies everywhere in my home, so gunna research the meaning of that later, it was quite horrible, I don’t usually get bad dreams. Well one day at a time, early night tonight as I want to get out for an early walk/ jog in the morning before I start the day.
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Hi EbonyS, Thankyou for your support means alot to me as I’ve always tried to do it alone but that obviously has not been working. It’s the mental side of it gets me, I never get a craving or shakes it’s in my head then that impulse buy, then its all down hill from there. So I really need to learn how to battle then nasty urges and thought’s, like just the one, I know myself I could never walk into a pub and just have one. I’ve tried, I once went out with enough for only one pint of larger, ohhhhh yeah, I ended up borrowing £20 off this guy in the pub then had to go down the next day to give it him back so ended up on another session…sometimes it’s laughable how we deceive ourselves just to get that poison.
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Welcome to the community @Leigh231 . This site has helped ne so much in my sobriety. I hope to see you around on here 
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Hi Dilettante and thankyou, just finding my way around the site and I’m sure you’ll see quite often on here. 
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Welcome, and all the best. I’m new here and also a binge drinker from the UK. There’s some good people and advice here.
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Hi danny81, thankyou and welcome yourself. yeah I’m slowly getting around the site step by step. Feeling ok today after just forcing myself to hit the weights, so glad I did it though, getting them happy positive hormones going. So determined to stop with this binge drinking, it just keeps ruining my life everytime I get back on track it takes me two steps back, so sick of it now.
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I hope that you doing good! I am hanging in!! Have a great day!
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Hi Jules1095, Yeah I’m doing just great, feeling much better, been watching loads of podcasts on alcohol etc. Aching a bit today with weight training and running but loving been focused again. Hope your doing ok, stay focused and take care… 
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Welcome Leigh. This is a safe place to share and learn from others. Your story is a very familiar one. I only have this to offer. Be kind to yourself and do your best to forgive yourself. Relapse is more common than not . It doesn’t mean start over to me. It does to some though. I look at it this way,if you are running a race and you take a spill you don’t go back to the starting line. You get up,dust yourself off and keep going. I look forward to hearing more from you. All the best.
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Hi Soberbilly, thankyou and very wise words. Yeah I use to beat myself up after every relapse but now I just think well as long as I never give up trying and keep going not giving in to the booze ever then I’m making progress, it’s when you throw the towel in you’ve lost for real. It’s like a boxer, you could be the greatest technician in the world, but if the first time you get in the ring get knock down and don’t get up, you’ll never be a winner. For each step forward is a step closer to success and reaching my dreams.
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