Hi all, I’m new here and only just managed to workout how to post lol. My name is Leigh, I’ve just turned 52 last Saturday and from the UK. I’m here cos I really need to get soba and stop binge drinking, it’s so destructive to my life in all aspects. I seem to go a month or so then relapse, I just relapsed after only 18days clean. It was the same old story, in my head I’m like just have the one, one wont matter then 18 cans of carling later and 30 cigs I’m like OMG not again, I really hate myself for it. Previously I stopped the beginning of December then went out for a meal in the beginning of February and that was it. I had a few weeks off then again it got me. I don’t actually crave alcohol, infact I don’t even like the taste it’s like my head convinces me. Then when I start a binge and I find it hard to stop, it’s so hard. When I’m of the drink life is so, so great. I wake up fresh, usually get back into my daily 30mins meditations, followed by a 3-4 mile walk/ jog and do my weight training. I feel so focused, fresh and free, but it only takes that one, just that one which turn me into a raving beer monster, then I smoke, which I hate and never do without a drink. I even stopped going out to the pubs cos when on a binge I’d be there 8am until I staggered home in a state. That taught me that my drinking buddies are not my real friends, every time I stopped going out for like 4-6 months, no word from anyone, my so called mates. Then I got into the routine of buying cans from my local shop and drinking at home while I was working. I really need to get a grip and keep strong, and that’s why I’m here guys, to get support, advise and help. Well hello to my new family and friends.
Welcome here Leigh, glad you found us. The people here have been essential in keeping me sober for 2.5 years now. It all started by saying no to the first drink and working towards alternative actions. Read around a bit, there is lots of wisdom in all the threads. Hope to see you around 
Hi Pandita and thankyou, wow 2.5 years, that seems like such a long way to go for me right now, I’m very envious, hope this time I can stay strong and finally beat this awful addiction, cos it is an addiction know matter how I try to sugar coat it or convince myself it’s not, it truly is and I feel I think I finally realized it is a problem and one I need to address.
Good to have you here Leigh! Same story, I thought I could control it but the addiction would talk me back into just one, that one would take away my inhibitions and I would just sink the drinks until black out.
This app has kept me sober. I’m only day 19 but each step and each milestone is great to celebrate here. I recommend checking out the daily check in thread too to help stay focused each day. I find myself on here alot. I hope to see you around daily 
Hi Whereswaldo, thankyou and I’m so happy to have found this community, yeah it’s a constant battle and have accepted after 35years bingeing it’s a real problem. The emotional turmoil it puts me in not to mention the cost. I stopped going to the pubs cos i was spending like over £800 a month, like the things I could have bought instead of throwing it down the drain, interacting with deadbeat people and hangers on who I used to buy drinks for when I was half cut. I work from home so will be around alot to keep me focused when I’m struggling with them urges. Well done aswell you should be proud of yourself.
Welcome to the community Leigh 
Hi Jasty2, thankyou and the long journey starts here I guess. It’s scary but as I always say, I can, I will, I must 
Hi Leigh, and welcome. You’ve found us…haha
First, those days do add up, but don’t look at it as a long journey, look at it as just today, now, this minute. Trust me, it’s easier that way.
I am just past my 92 day and ODAAT works perfectly. Much like you I smoked like a chimney only when drinking and it was always binge style drinking. The task seems daunting but not if you take it a step at a time…what’s he saying, “how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time “.
You have healthy interests so make achieving them daily a priority for you. Your life, your health, your number one priority…
You’ve got this! 
Hi Chevy55 and thankyou so much. Yeah when I’m not drinking life is so great, the clear head, the focus, been in meditation and early morning walks/jog. I like meditate at 4am then out for 5am cos there is no people around and the air is so much clearer before all the traffic starts. I love it, been out in nature, seeing the wildlife before the day starts. That’s why I don’t understand why I fall back into a binge and unhealthy lifestyle for a while when life is so good without it. I definitely have to beat this and like you say a day at a time, minute by minute.
I’m here cheering for you Leigh!! Get that morning dopamine hit, vitamin D and take on that day, clear headed and grabbing hold of life. No time for drinking and hangovers.
You’ve got this!!
Hehe, yeah I take vitamin D & Calcium, Omega 3 in a morning with my meds. I have to take heart tablets cos I had a triple heart bypass in Nov 2019 and have C.O.P.D, though it doesn’t trouble me much, going out for a jog and getting breathless has help so much with that. I also take Zinc and Magnesium plus B6 at night before I go to bed, apparently it helps with sleep and the sympathetic nervous system. I don’t know why I punish myself so much with the bloody alcohol… 
Well don’t beat yourself up on what was the past. Just keep a focus on that future.
Nothing we can do about yesterday. But today we absolutely can set ourselves up for a better tomorrow…
And as for vitamins, I was just referring to vitamin D from that morning sunshine… best medicine there is.
Make today count Leigh…
You think just like me, there only is the NOW, the present moment, we can’t change the past and as for the future it’s for me to make that, when I meditate I focus on how I’d like my future to be and bring it into my present. Everything is just energy and like attracts like, there is nothing we cannot create with positive thinking and the right mindset
You get it perfectly!
I am very spiritual and read alot about the mind and consciousness, one of my great interests.
I understand what you are going through. I am a bit of the same way when it comes to not drinking and then just full out. Yes my head says oh just one! Never works out that way.
What helps me is when something in my head starts trying to convince me ahhh just one cold beer, I force myself to work through the real scenario what really will happen. It never is just one beer!
I am on day 43 and still late afternoons I get the urge to pop one, but it takes about 1/2 hour to twitch thoughts and I am so relieved when I can say oh wow you did it! Something sweet helps Subside the Craven a bit. It also helps to come on the site to read other peoples posts and comments to stay on the right track. I also understand about the Friends. People will talk about you how you cannot control alcohol however, they will be the first people To convince you to go to the pub. I have had two Stay away from some friends to maintain what I am trying to accomplish. I was in a circumstance This past Easter weekend, and I am so proud that I got through it. I sleep, so much better, in fact it is morning, where I am now, and I woke up thinking wow I slept the whole night! When on are my binges, I would wake up throughout the night, wanting to kick myself and feeling terrible. Thinking how can a bottle of beer be so much more stronger than me? But it’s not! I can see that now! I can do it I know I can, and so can you! Again just work out the whole scenario of you thinking you can have just have that one beer and laugh at yourself and say really? and say no, I cannot just have that one beer! Have a great day!
Hi Jules1095, yeah you understand it just like me, after my last binge I went out and bought some new running gear, new bottoms, trainers, high vis top and really felt this is it, I had achieved something by buying something that made me happy, worthwhile, something to show for my money, not that I can run far, more like jog, then walk to get my breath then jog again lol, but it’s about 3-4 miles. Then for a while everytime that thought, that urge came into my mind I was like, do you want the shop for the alcohol OR go to the shopping center and buy something worth while for yourself, a pair of jeans, anything really, and it was working cos I envisioned it in my mind. Then it was that one thought over easter as it was my birthday too, I actually went out with my family for a meal and stuck to orange and soda, no problem, got dropped off and as I was walking past the shop the demons came in, go on, it’s your birthday, your allowed one, you’ve been doing great, you deserve a wee little treat no one will even know, after all you’ve been in the pub and not once thought of having a drink, your ok no problem, yeah right, I drank 18 cans of carling, I only bought 4 to begin with, then that was it, it amazes me how it gets me so quick, all inhabitations gone, all work out of the window, just a drunken wreck and for what…that’s what’s so soul destroying for me…I often think, well if somone gave me a pint of petrol, would I drink it, ofcourse not it’s poison, so why do I give in to the worst drug on the planet, so annoying 
Hi Leigh231,
Yes those Demons! I get it! With what you said being in the pub with others having that orange soda and so on, then convincing yourself just one! Where I live a 6 pk is cheaper, so it starts with that. Like I mentioned a little sweet when you are getting the urges really help. That talk to yourself also! Now I am day 44 and believe me when I was at 10 days I was shocked thinking when had I not drank for 10 straight days? I was ashamed to not even remember.
I am taking it day by day.
Just remember to take it one day at a time and make sure your head hits the pillow sober that night, every single day. Binge drinking is a miserable way to live, I would know. I wish you the best and keep coming on this app! It’s helped me immensely. You, your body mind and soul deserve a better, healthier happier life
Welcome! Recognizing is the first step. Nobody said it would be easy but with time it will be worth it. I’ve had afew relapses myself so you’re not alone. You’ve got this!!! Stay strong!!!