So I figured this was the best place to come before I did something stupid. I recently lost my apartment and have to move in with a parent. Pretty humiliating at my age, but I haven’t been able to find work and now we have all this corona stuff. I haven’t drank anything but feel like I’m just white knuckling right now.
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Good for you for reaching out. Have you tried some of the online meetings?
Online meeting resources
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Hi @Xenu1 good job on reaching out here when you started having these feelings. I’m really sorry to hear you are going through a rough time right now. I know it is sooo tempting to think ‘fuck it!’ And teach for good old faithful to drown out the feelings. BUT play the tape through. Those issues will still be there tomorrow and guess what? So will the alcohol induced desperation, guilt, shame and anxiety. And these will make you feel so much worse about your situation.
Please hold on to your sobriety and try and work through your issues with a clear head. Honestly everything will seem much more achievable and easier to tackle without the cloud of alcohol over you.
Thoughts are with you friend.
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For me personally, being sober in itself isn’t enjoyable as such. It’s not being under the influence all the time. It’s being able to do stuff, to think, to try to better my situation, working on myself, it’s knowing my life is better like this than it would be as a drunk. I’m sorry for your situation Xenu. I honestly think drinking would not make it one bit better though. Good you are here. Hope we can help a bit.
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You did the right thing by checking in here. I have always found it helpful to talk to another alcoholic whenever I think about the drink.
I also find it helpful to play back the tapes of when I was using. I know my life was unmanageable and that I couldn’t continue on like that. Its the first drink that would get me drunk and I would be risking everything I’ve accomplished so far.
Keep reaching out and as @Matt said, a meeting might help.
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if you think your life is shit now go and have a drink … that’s some whole new level kinda shit.
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Dam man its hard to stay sober on a regular basis. Than you have that on top of that be strong tough it out. Not putting myself in your shoes because I havent been there, be strong and hope you stay sober, it has to be hard, especially right now with the virus.
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white knuckle it! if thats the only way to stay sober right now, keep going. tomorrow is a new day.
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No matter what your circumstances, you are sober today. And although good things (or things the way we want them) do not necessarily follow from our sobriety, no good things can come our way without sobriety. So hang in there, baby, cuz tomorrow is coming!
Every little thing is gonna be alright. 
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Sounds more like you’re just not enjoying life in general right now and that’s understandable. Fucking 2020 got turned on it’s ear real damn quick and punched a lot of people in the stomach.
I’d wager you wouldn’t enjoy life drunk either, I always found it hard to enjoy a good drunk after I had a belly full of sobriety.
Moving in with the rents can feel shitty, on the flip side, thank goodness you had a nest you could land in cause I know some people who aren’t so fortunate.
Glad you came here. Read, relate and connect with others… everyone needs a shoulder at times and also needs to be the shoulder for someone else.
Keep trudging pal, one foot in front of the other gets us where we need to be.
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remember that at least now you have the ability to think straight, you can think about WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANNA do, and yes dude, terrible situation, but also everyone is having a terrible time right now, the world is a fucking chaos and all we want is some peace but relapsing is going to bring you peace? sobriety is never gonna be easy for us but we have to trust in it. we have to think like “ok this fucking situation is harder like hell, but you know what? at least I have my full ability to think and to organize my thoughts”.
hey, stay strong. youre a warrior.
Just take each moment as it comes. Right now a lot of people can’t find work. It’s not all your fault. Just hang in there. You’ll be glad you did later.
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Thanks for all the answers guys. I’m still here and still sober.
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My two cents is that drinking won’t make anything better but it very likely will make things worse. Not drinking is this one thing I’ve gotten right and I can hold on to that and count it when everything else falls to shit. I have a few things about myself that I consider integral and this lockdown period really highlighted those for me. Not drinking is one of them: it’s this thing I know about myself, this strength I have. It means that I sleep through the night and that I wake up feeling rested instead of hungover and that I don’t throw money away on alcohol and that I don’t make an extra-special ass out of myself, compromising friendships and relationships the way I did when I was drinking. Sobriety introduced an honesty with myself that’s not always comfortable but for me, much better than the alternative. Good for you for reaching out and pulling out another day sober.
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I totally understand that all of this is awful. But drinking will not at all help you get a job or an apartment. Drinking will do the exact opposite. I am sure you know this, but you just needed to hear some other people tell you too, which is why you came on here. Good for you for reaching out.
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