How am I supposed to do this? I have an AA meeting tonight and I’m so tempted to go to a store and just get a couple beers or something instead. Or the American Legion for a few drinks where nobody knows I’m an alcoholic. Sobriety sucks because it’s not like my pain gets any easier or better. Alcohol is literally the only thing I had to numb me. I feel lost and pathetic.
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Alcohol is what’s making you feel that way. Having that grip and hold over you. Your not those things. Go and meet new people and want better for yourself 
It can be lonely at times, alcohol was my best friend but it was a toxic relationship that harming me and who I was.
Just take small steps in the right direction x
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If it makes the thought process of going easier, tell yourself you’re just going to at least go to this one AA meeting and decide after that if you really do want to go somewhere else to drink. I bet meeting new people who understand will help a ton. The shame of continuing to drink is probably the core of what’s driving you to feel this way. It only numbs you temporarily, but think of the aftermath. Continued guilt, and feeling like shit physically and emotionally. Push yourself to give it a try, to keep going. I’ll be two weeks clean tomorrow and it really does get better after the first week. And that’s coming from someone who has been a heavy drug and alcohol user for as long as she can remember. The other side is so worth it. You’re worth more than you feel right now, and it’ll be hard to get there but it’s possible. You deserve health happiness and sobriety. Stay strong 🫶🏻
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Numbing our pain by whatever means is not making it any easier or better either. Sobriety itself isn’t going to solve our problems either right. But sobriety is the first necessity, the first step, to actually be able to work on our pain and problems. Yes it takes work. Lots of it. Anything truly worth having takes work. Going to a meeting is another step. Coming here and sharing is a step. Congrats on a full sober week, that’s big friend! A big step in the right direction. So please go to that meeting today and see what will happen. We’re in this together en we do it one day at a time. Wishing you all success on your sober journey.
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Welcome, friend. Feeling list and pathetic is OK. It will not kill you, whereas taking a drink just might. Alcohol leaving our bodies takes a while, weeks to months to really be free of it.
Let your thoughts come and go. They are not truth. At the AA meeting, you will hear some laughter and see some joy. I think you will find hope there.
Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey.
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I hear you buddy, but I guess the feeling good part of sobriety takes a while to get to.
Im now in week 4 and I am just starting to feel a bit better. The first 3 weeks were a bit “what’s the point”… i bloated up, had phantom hangovers… felt more awful than I did at any point whilst drinking.
The way I see it is like this: if you cut your finger today, it would hurt. You would probably wake up tomorrow and it would still be hurting. It would take time for that wound to heal and no amount of anger or frustration would make it heal any quicker… the healing process takes time, you just have to he patient, trust the process and know that it will happen eventually.
The other point I would make is this. In giving into drinking, you wouldn’t be doing anything that you havent done before.
You know in yourself that you can’t keep doing what youve done before and expect the outcome to be any different to how its been in the past.
In the short term, the booze would numb you… and I know how blissful that numbness can seem, but being numb isnt living. You deserve to live and feel and to find a natural peace that isnt chemically induced.
It might suck now but itwont always suck. Youve got to give yourself a chance to see whats on the other side.
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I have felt what you are feeling. The sense of wtf am I doing and wtf I don’t really care. I hope you went to the AA meeting and are staying on track. Thanks for posting and we are here for support.
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