Relapsed again tonight, went 50 days but I gave in… I’m an alcoholic as well but I can’t drink because my pancreas is fucked so using meth seemed like a better idea plus I’ve been hitting the oxy again… I don’t know why I’m even writing this, everyone else has given up on me don’t see why I shouldn’t think I’m gonna take the whole 2 sheets of oxy I have left and fade away
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Nope, don’t take the oxy. Stick around. There’s light at the end of the tunnel.
This isn’t a failure but it does mean you have to change something. Have you been working a program? Going to meetings?
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I’ve been trying to recover in denial everytime I try Na or program I just find talking about it just makes me want it more, I don’t fucking know
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Addiction is escape. Addiction is about getting numb and running away from something. If you’re feeling that way it means there’s something you’re still trying to run away from.
Inpatient treatment is helpful here - really getting clean in a place with no drugs.
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Thanks man… I’m a bit of a lost cause, don’t think I’ll make it thru the night appreciate you though God bless you
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You’re here Marly. Tells me you’re not done with life yet. It’s the drugs that make you believe you are. You’re right, just talking dsoesn’t cut the cake. Recovery is a verb. For now you just need to make sure you´re safe. Right now you need to keep talking. You´re not alone.
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This might also be a place to reach out for help.
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No you’re not.
Call the Lifeline that Mno linked above. Just do it. That will help.
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Here’s a support you can call in Queensland 24/7 about this - scroll down to “Alcohol and drug services” for the number:
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Don’t give up! There is a whole world out there waiting for you when you beat your addiction. As far as everybody else giving up on you that’s what happens to all of us. But there are thousands of thousands of success stories. I know it’s just a cheesy Christmas movie but that movie it’s a wonderful life! It shows how making the choice to live is a wonderful thing. Please check back in with Lasr we haven’t given up on you! Don’t give up on yourself man!
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This is a moment in time. Think about times you felt like this before and pushed through…and your life got better.
Death offers a one way ticket with no back out clause. You don’t want that, you just think you do.
Hang in there!!!
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Call the lifeline sent above now. Not later, right now.
Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d treat someone who you’re responsible for. You deserve that kindness. No matter what.
Your life matters and you CAN turn it around.
We’re here to help.
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Please check in with us when you are able. No one is a lost cause. We all deserve a healthy healing life, even in our darkest moments.
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How ya doing, @Marly? One day, one hour, one moment at a time?
Pulling for ya. Know it feels rough right now. Hope you’ll put that stuff down and just catch some sleep tonight. Tomorrow is another day.
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No do not give up, I’m back to day one again myself, I keep trying, I’m walking round today in pj’s not feeling good at all, I have children so, they are I believe what keeps me going, I’m tierd too, but we must not give up stay strong and keep coming on here it really does help 
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Update guys: I didn’t get any sleep but I stayed off the oxy thanks to everyone who reached out I actually called lifeline last night and the lady I spoke to really helped me put shit in perspective I’m sorry if I worried any of you, much love guys
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You’re writing this because you have a desire to stop using. You had fifty days someone else never got that’s a miracle brush you’re shoulders off, and go forward. You’re gonna do what you want in the end finish the sheet don’t finish the sheet just keep coming back brother you’re worth it. Go to n.a. meetings, keep an open mind, take suggestions, get a sponsor. The misery will always be there waiting for you so why not try something different the worse that can happen is gaining freedom from active addiction one day at a time. I gotta get back to work but I hope you try again bro 
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Thank you brother
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Glad your feeling better, this helped me maybe can help you too heres some hugs 
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