I haven’t self harmed in 24 days my goal was to make it to 30 but lately that has been really hard and I’m just about ready to throw those 24 days away because it is all I have for comfort. Anyone in the same position or have any advice?
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It will not ultimately lead to comfort. In the long run it will be much more discomfort as you will likely feel remorse and shame. For me it feels as though my world will explode if I dont give in sometimes, but it never does and the blissful feeling of waking up the next day is great.
I would call up a friend and get together with someone. Even if just to lay around and shoot the shit.
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Please don’t self harm! What’s going on my friend, why do you feel like you need to relapse? You’re doing so well, please stay strong 
talk it through with us, we are here for you 
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Think about how you will feel after.
Can you not do the elastic band or ice cube trick?
Just find a distraction. Stay connected.
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I’m lonely and depressed and it’s the only thing that brings me comfort and it just gets harder and harder
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Read on this forum if you feel lonely. Check out the #just-for-fun category, there’s some great entertaining stuff in there. There’s also the thread Daily Greeting #3. It’s a thread where a lot of people chat without it being too serious
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I can only share what works for ME…I’ve been able to achieve the GIFT of being honest with myself. It took me a long time to arrive there. You get to CHOOSE wether on not to have that GIFT, as well as how much time / pain you have to put yourself though in order to get it.
That being said, I now have the ability to roll the DECISION to use out to its inevitable conclusion. I can clearly see, and more importantly, feel, where that decision takes ME.
Want to know sickest part of that process,? FOR ME, it totally pisses me off! Why? Because now I can’t justify using a chemical to instantly change the way I feel! Sick, right?
Facing that dilemma FORCES ME to find another way to cope with the decision to use.
When I’m in a situation that I want to use over, it forces ME to develop better COPING skills, instead of COP OUT skills!
This is MY experience, and what’s worked for ME. If you can be kind to yourself, remain open minded and open hearted, you can do this!
Remember, it’s simple to do, just not easy!!
I wish you all the best. You deserve this!!!
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Welcome Helen,
From the heart I can only say… please do not do that. But as said before here. it is simple, not easy.
I feel I can kind of relate to it. For example I am having a week where I overstep my boundaries and then the thought comes in like ‘planning’ the moment were I can unwind and have a morning of next day, so no one is harmed by me hurting myself.
The thoughts are ridiculous of course. why the h… would anyone do that as a gift after working hard… but that is apparently how the brain still works.
I do not have to tell you (or me) that it does not add up to building self love and self care. In the end it does not work. It might be just our old comfy blanked and support because we did not know otherwise how to regulate certain emotions. and there is the way into more self love. Other ways of regulating.
For me this is really hard since I never learned it as a child.So I try and develop it bij doing not only the work here, having a spiritual practice in what form or shape. but mainly maybe more important by finding co-regulation like in this platform or being around people that have ‘healthy’ behaviours or give you energy. And second thing is empathie. I am a yoga teacher for example (seems like quite the opposite of how i treat myself some days) but seeing people in class all share the same struggles in life and having to find ways to deal with it makes me feel very compassionate looking from a distance. When I can not be compassionate about myself I project it on them. Would I wish them the same? and then next step sometime I manage to ‘virtually’ put myself there on that place right next to them and see myself struggling wishing myself the same as I wish others.
It does not always help, but I remind myself to use this kind of exercise as much as I can to learn these new ways of thinking.
you are worth it!
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I also suffer with depression and I understand how hard it is to keep moving forward. You should feel proud for coming here when you feel this way, I can tell you that just typing stuff out on here has saved me from relapse many times. To feel like someone is listening is so helpful. We are listening to you rose! Do you have access to a doctor? Could you go and talk to them? Maybe they could offer a temporary solution? Counselling is good, maybe you could try it, if you haven’t already?..I am on tablets for my depression and now that I’ve stopped drinking myself into oblivion most nights, they are working well. They just take the edge off. I also find exercise important. Just a steady walk for some fresh air maybe. I know it’s hard not to revert to old ways but you have come so far. I speak from experience (mine, granted)… relapse will bring so much more bad than good. Sending you hugs my friend. Please stay strong and stay safe.