I’ve been clean from self harm for 81 days… My psychiatrist is proud, my psychologist is proud, my parents are proud… I am proud… But what if I relapse… This wasn’t a problem for me before because I would self harm daily and constantly. But now I’m clean for the first time in years… And I’m scared because I know I can relapse at any second and although I am aware that it can happen and that it is okay my parents won’t see it like that… They’ll see it like a million steps back…
You need to believe and communicate that if you relapse it would be 81 steps forward, and only one step back. But you won’t relapse. You went from harming daily to 81 days free from your addiction. There’s no reason why you cannot do another day. Why? Because you’ve just had 81 days strung together one at a time.
Be wary of the things that used to trigger you, but don’t obsess over relapsing. Staying sober isn’t like lifting weights, where each repetition gets harder as fatigue sets in. It’s like breathing. If you’ve taken one breath, you can take two. You’ve taken 81 breaths. Now take 82, then 83, then 84. In. Out. One breath at a time.
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Fear is a useful potential that our brains have. We would be worse off without it. Living in constant fear, however, is a problem. I have been clean and sober for three and a half years and am still afraid of relapse – when I think about it. But I don’t think about it much, and when the feat rears its head, I mostly ignore it. I love the saying, “We neither dwell on the past, nor do we wish to shut the door on it.”
One day at a time!
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Never focus on if you are going to fail. Focus on how you are going to succeed. Have no fear. We are with you and cheering for you.
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Thank you so much, i can’t even begin to explain how helpful these words are… I appreciate it so much 
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That is so true and I’m now another lover of that quote… Thank you so much
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Thank you so much for your kind words and support
Im scares too. Ive got 303 today… but thats why im here also. Thanks for sharing! Lets beat this together!!
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If I might make a small suggestion: Change your screen name. You don’t destroy everything. How about “Neverharm” or “Lovematters” or “dailystrong” or “atpeace”. Names are powerful. Choose a positively powerful name, and then live up to it.
Peace
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Does anyone have some good book suggestions on fear? I’m sure there are some available. You received some wise words and encouragement from this group. Remembering them and rereading them when fear rises up can be very helpful. This app in general has helped me and many others that are on here. Keep logging in and keep pressing on!
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That is an amazing suggestion. I read somewhere that even changing your passwords to things like IGOTTHIS or something can make a HUGE difference in your success. It is something you type several times every day. It will get ingrained into your brain.
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Wow, so proud! Thank you and keep on staying strong
That actually does make a lot of sense… I’ll think about it, thanks 
Yes it has been helping me too and I’m glad it helps you. There’s a lot of support and love here
Thank you 
Yeah, true 