So. I’ve been SH since a while now. Few years ago it became an addiction. I really want to stop but im afraid who I will become without it. I know I will be free and better but I kind of dont want to bwcouse im scared
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That feeling of fear is completely normal. I was scared too… initally. When we have relied on something for so long, it becomes a part of us and so removing that, creates an unknown. Not knowing what to expect or who we will become can be scary. I knew that quitting drugs would make me a better, healthier person but i was scared too of not having something to rely on to cope with lifes stressors.
Trust the process my friend. U know where leading a life in addiction will get u. And its no place to be. So give an addiction free life a chance 
You will probably be amazed at what comes forth when u get rid of ur addiction. It may help to explore some other healthier coping skills too that would work for u during times of distress. Wishing u all the best on ur journey 
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Maybe try a SH group might help wish you well
I can completely relate to what you’re saying. Without my drug and alcohol use, without the self harm, without the self sabotage, without the endless cycle of hitting rock bottom and getting up for long enough to pick up the pieces only to fall again… who am I?
And truth is… I’m two years sober and still don’t know. Life can be challenging at times, but it can also be good. I owe it to myself to find out who I am without self-destructing. And so do you. Life without your addiction may seem scary, but you’re worth fighting for. You deserve to find out what a life free from sh looks like. And I believe you can.
Keep posting on here. Maybe join some online meetings. If you can, consider trying to therapy. You can do this!
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