I'm sorry but I have to say it

I’m sorry if this offends everyone but I have to complain about something I feel passionate about…
I come to this app to get positive/encouraging words for those of us that are trying to stay sober by a thread but lately I have been reading so many people saying “I’m getting clean for the moment but I don’t plan on staying this way for long”.
Good for u for figuring out u have a problem & wanting to fix it (even if it’s jus for the moment) but I feel like u are completely mocking those of us that are trying to make it our lifestyle. If ur not trying to make this ur lifestyle then why are u reaching out to us to help u wit our encouraging words & wisdom?
I feel like maybe u should come back when ur more serious…
Like I said I’m sorry if this offends to anyone, but it’s how I feel…

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Getting sober is a journey. For many of us, thinking of never drinking again early in sobriety is very scary! I know it was for me, and even 6 months later there are days when I am struggling with this. Also before my 6 months I had attempts at sobriety and was still in delusion of being in control and trying to moderate my drinking. Had quite bad relapses

I believe if people are here it is already a good start. Yes, they might not want to stay sober forever right now, and may relapse many times, but I believe in their hearts they know that true sobriety is the answer (and being on this forum helps to instill that idea) and every relapse will only show them that this is not working. However,every person here is at a different point in their journey and for some, true sobriety may be even many years away. It’s their story. I have mine. Happy Friday! :slight_smile:

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I feel the same way @DLOVE. This is life or death for me. I get discouraged but I also see its part of their process. They have to fall and experiment until they reach the point that it’s too painful and are willing to take it serious. Because some of us are a lot further along in addiction and then got sober…we can see things that they can’t yet. I’m having to practice patience and tolerance a lot now days. To understand that I have to stay on my side of the street.

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Can’t speak for others, but downloaded the app to moderate initially, and through reading posts here, I came to realize and accept the depth of my problem.

Your feelings are valid.

Don’t pay any mind to those who make you feel mocked. If they attack you personally, please report it to the mods.

Personally, I admired those who chose soberity when I couldn’t imagine my own life without alcohol. That’s actually what helped open my eyes. Resetting the counter made the reality of my addiction clear to me. Now I’ve managed to choose soberity for 24 hours. I’ve made that choice 58 days in a row.

All the best to you.

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I understand what you say! And a while ago i could have posted the same thing. But… everybody goes their own way and walks their own path. Some people are struggling too much and ‘addict man’ is so active in their head… it is just the way addiction works.
Stay by yourself and be proud of yourself that you are at the point you realise this is for the rest of your life! Maybe you can help those people who are struggling so hard. And if it is annoying you a lot, maybe you have to figure out why it does so much to you.
I wish everybody a clean and sober day and stay strong.

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I agree. I’ve been fortunate enough to not have run into the people that just want to stay sober for the moment. Addiction is absolutely horrible and your mind plays tricks on you. I was 23 days off pills, then I slipped. I don’t feel good about my slip and want to turn back time, but I can’t. What I’ve learned ON HERE is that a relapse means I need to redo my recovery plan. I don’t want to stay sober for the moment, I want to be sober for good.

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Hey @DLOVE
I am very happy to be here and this is my first post. I’m new to this app as well as sobriety. What’s up 54 days?!! Woot! It took me months before I did enough recovery work to be able to quit. I definitely think if I had read “I feel like maybe u should come back when ur more serious…” I wouldn’t have stuck around. And what a tremendous awful thing that would’ve been to my sobriety! It was through reading outside sources/books, educating myself, and largely reading the wisdom​ and experiences of people on this app that made me ready and strong enough to quit. I’m really sorry that it bothers you that some people aren’t ready yet and I realize sometimes you can’t tell what a post will be until you read it and how triggering that might be. This crap is hard, sobriety is no joke and I can see how that might be frustrating. I hope this app gives you more strength and motivation then discomfort.
But I want to say to everyone still struggling, please, stick around! There is an infinite amount of sobriety tools and education here. You will only get stronger and smarter!
Happy sober weekend everyone.

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I honestly agree with @DLOVE if ur trying to get sober then why would u expect to give in? When u say u expect to fail then ur already jinxing urself. I understand when times get tough and we relapse. That’s a part of being human. But to say “Ok I’ll try but I’m probably gonna fail.” is pretty self defeating. Have confidence. Its like the one of the key elements to staying sober. If u r feeling down the get someone to give u encouragement.

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Mostly everyone on this app seems so welcoming. Some people may not be ready until they’re ready. I don’t think turning anyone away is a good idea. I don’t think asking people to come back when they’re “more serious” is a positive. I think everyone has something to gain from reading this forum! It has so much incredibly helpful information.

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Well yeah u don’t want to say that. That just puts people down. I’m more in agreement about people not being confident. I’m just saying that I use to be the same way. U have to believe u can do things. Otherwise u won’t stand a chance. The only person that can keep u sober is u.

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More people just need encouragement. And sometimes encouragement is tough love. Tough love is forward but honest.

If u make the choice to be sober then stick with it and be confident that u will make it.

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Really good point @NeshKun ! I love that and I agree Tough love Is honest.

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@DLOVE. Not one person should discourage you from recovery in my opinion. I do think that some people do come across a little more brash than others but I always hope it’s still meant out of concern? I do think from what I’ve noticed there are steps in people’s recovery that they forget to polish the words before they let them go. We are probably never going to be the group to sugar coat everything but I hope to never chase anyone away either. But remember this is just a reflection of the world we are human and we do all make mistakes so just because one person says something to harsh they might be struggling at the moment as well.

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My initial goal when coming here was 100 days. I never shared that information until I had reached my goal. Now at 145. Now I’m setting a new goal of a sober 365. It helps with 2 things for me. 1 I have something I’m working towards. 2 I’m single so having the excuse of my goal is an easy way of avoiding the not drinking conversation. I’ll say that after my 100 I can’t see a reason to have one and am continuing to maintain a sober lifestyle.
My best friend just asked for the app. He wants to do a sober July. I have it to him and I hope he’s successful. And you never know, maybe 30 days becomes a lifetime because of the example we set as a community.

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There is kindness here. If you’re not ‘perfect’ or ‘ready’ or sure of what you want… Stay! Listen and watch people’s lives improve. Hear advice; take what resonates with you. Life is truly incredible without having to alter your state of mind.

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Nicely said @jerryblue.

Anyone who’s on here is trying, and that’s all we can do.
Same basic protocol as any social app,Don t like an opinion move on,feel disrespected message person directly and speak honestly and if you can without judgement or high emotion, so many things are said in anger or frustration,and once somethings out there it done.
Everyone posting on this really has me thinking of how I handle myself, thank you.

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Nailed it, mic drop…

I have to force myself not to think of the “always and forever” part, because I am so self destructive, and so resistant to absolutes. If I look at it that way, I will fail. I know this from experience. So I understand that some people need to approach it incrementally.

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Progress, not perfection. We all move at our own pace.

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