We are here for you!
A relapse doesn’t have to be the end of the sobriety road, if we recognize that we’ve made a wrong turn and immediately get back to the sober road we were on. The danger of relapse is often we wait to take corrective action, or refuse to accept that it was familiar thinking, reactions and behaviors that fuel the addiction, until we hit bottom again.
I am approaching 4.5 years of sobriety. My last relapse, after about 30 days of not drinking, lasted 9 months. I came close to losing my marriage, although I didn’t see it at the time. I can say unequivocally, that had my wife put me out because of my drinking, it’d have likely ended with a slow and painful death. I would have punished myself by drinking more. That was my nature at the time.
I also realized that with every relapse (of which I had many, before sobriety stuck), I noticed two things: my “bottom” got harder and more painful, and the hole was harder to climb out of.
Just as the parasite slowly destroys the host by feeding on it, addiction is slowly destroying the addicted. When we relapse, we allow the reinfection of our bodies, minds, and spirits.
I am sorry that you feel alone and isolated here. I want you to succeed. I want you to experience your portion of joy, peace, and happiness. I hope you will stay and try again, to get better at getting better.
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