Hi Everyone. I only have a few minutes before my meeting…and a very busy day of work.
I am on day 9 of being sober from alcohol after steep increase in use. I feel like the world is crashing down upon me (huge spike in depression and anxiety). I’ve read a lot about this and it makes sense b/c my brain is no longer getting the dopamine hit of daily alcohol…so is struggling to cope.
My understanding is that this type of suffering could take months before my brain possibly re-wires itself towards me feeling more even keeled. I honestly hate booze but feel like I need it to make this yuck go away. I no doubt have a history of depression (quite serious at times) and oh how I wish I was blessed with a normal brain, healthy thoughts and feelings.
Great portions of my life have felt like a struggle just to stay alive, let alone happy. But I know an increasing dependence on…or use of…alcohol and other drugs is not the answer.
So yeah, feeling really stressed and depressed at the moment. Future seems impossible. This is all a very, very, very, very uncomfortable feeling. One valium and a stiff drink would sort it out…except it won’t. I’ve reached the point where poisoning my body and brain is no better than struggling through. In short, I am feeling completely overwhelmed about everything all at once.
Please say prayers for me and reach out if you’ve gone through this yourself or know what I’m talking about.
I think that feeling of damned if I do damned if I don’t feeling well be easier to deal with in time. Especially when sobriety starts to show the good things that come with it
Congrats on day 9.
I hope you can share your thoughts and feelings at your meeting. Or find someone after the meeting to talk to.
9 days is HUGE. Those first ten days were some of the hardest in my life. I did 2 powers walks with Eminem blaring in my ears. And scalding hot showers in the afternoon before dinner with lots of tears because I was so upset I cannot have a stupid drink. It was so hard to break the cycle.
Hang in there.
This too shall pass.
Deep breathe.
You’re doing all the right things. Just don’t pick up.
ODAAT.
Congratulations on day 9 of sobriety! Youre making great progress!!
I can absolutely relate to your post.
I have been running from uncomfortable emotions for decades and honestly was the biggest reason why i contonued to use drugs. I hated being in my own skin and i used drugs to manipulate how i felt. The only way to get off this merry go around, is to literally stop using and drinking and begin trying to find healthier ways to cope with those uncomfortable emotions. Im still working on learning how to do this but when i got clean, i had to find other ways to cope bcuz feeling emotion felt too intense. I found deep breathing helps. Focusing on slowing down. Focusing on one thing at a time (mindfullness). Stopping and pausing. Using grounding techniques like the 5 senses gronding technique. Distraction. Talking it out with others. Exercise. These are just a few things that helped me get thru those hard times. Hope maybe somw of these can help u too Great job reaching out today!
Hey friend - welcome to day 9! The beginning of sobriety is super rough as we are going through withdrawals and learning how to feel all our feelings without relying on our DOC as a coping mechanism.
Since we have relied on numbing all our feelings for so long, it is difficult to face them head on with a sober head. Are you able to talk with anyone (therapist / counselor) about what you are going through. Maybe talk to a physician to see if you can get some medication to help with depression?
Also try to add some exercise and or comedy into your daily routine to help kick in the endorphins.
THIS right here! I do hope you find some relief soon - we are here if you need to talk it out with us. I would definitely seek out a in person support system as well. We can not do this journey alone.
Oh indeed the struggle is real, friend. If you can find some comfort in knowing once you get to the other side of this, it will be a powerful reminder of where you came from and what you don’t ever have to do again.
Don’t listen to you & stay out of your head please. That thing between our ears will sell BS every time. Hugs
Welcome! I can relate to the depression and at times it being very dark. Are you on medication or considering medication? I’m an Empath and was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder six years ago. I’ve tried going off medication and inevitably I end up on a deep depressive spiral. I’ve come to accept I will probably always be on medication and that’s ok. No different than someone with high blood pressure ir diabetes. My psychiatrist.also has me take vitamin D, magnesium, and vitamin B complex. My doctor said that she found in nine out of 10 of her patients that suffered from depression. They had vitamin D deficiencies.
Also, I have 85 days sober from alcohol and my depression was closing in on me even on the medication and I can tell you in a short period of time I began feeling much better. The hope has returned to my life and I am starting to see the possibility of joy and a happy future. My drinking was extremely excessive before I got sober. So have faith take it one day at a time and sometimes what I have to tell myself is that the feeling I feel right now is only temporary and will pass. I hope that helps. Keep coming back here to the community is extremely supportive and there’s always someone online to help you.
Thanks Dana, I appreciate your comments. I have taken Zoloft before but stopped. I suppose it’s stupid to just suffer if medication can help.
I’m not sure really what to do. Lots of things I see say “seek help” but I don’t really know what to do or who to engage. It seems overwhelming…so I think clinging to sobriety for dear life is all I have at the moment.
I understand. I’d seek help from your primary care physician. Personally I was on Zoloft years ago and that didn’t work when I went back on meds. I’m currently on Wellbutrin and that seems to work well for me. It just keeps me level. I don’t feel drugged I feel normal if there is such a thing. Stay busy read, workout, binge TV. Before you know it, you’ll feel better. You’ve got this!
Great job reaching out today!
