Don’t beat yourself up, focus on the future. It helped me a lot to keep myself busy, find new hobbies and goals. I joined a gym and crossfit (im almost every day there), picked up my creative hobbies again, do a buuunch of home improvement, and work more hours. All the other times I tried to quit but failed I didn’t make any lifestyle changes. This time feels completely different, because before all I could think of was when I was able to finally drink. I had to replace that “empty” feeling with other things that are good for me. Hopefully I made sense, its early lol. You can do this!