How are things Tais?
Hi, Matt! Thanks for asking! Iām sober for 7 days, go to AA meetings and speak there. Told my partner about my decision to stay sober. Things are ok so farš
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Lovely! Itās nice to get it out in the open - itās like cleaning a room: open the windows (
) dust the shelves, sweep the floor, and invite people in. Once weāre in community, once weāre connecting with people, it helps keep us afloat.
Take care Tais and remember: youāre a good person who deserves a safe, sober life where you can be your full self. 
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I think i will continue with this thread. Iām on day 1 again, been sober for 16 days and then drank all weekend. It has never been so complicated to quit, during last 4 months iām really struggling. Though i can stay sober for 7-40 days, my head finds a way to convince me to drink a little, and then i drink more, anyways, you know it all.
I noticed that after binges i stay sober for longer time. After non-binge drinking, for example during evenings and not much alcohol, it is harder to stay sober, because i think āok i drank and nothing bad happenedā. Looks like my main motivation is fear, and the more i am terrified with last drinking, the longer this fear lasts, but it always goes away and instead i think āmaybe alcoholism is not a life-threatening problem for meā. It is still hard to admit iām an alcoholic, part of me doesnāt even want to write this post, feels uncomfortable when i think i need full abstinence.
I visited AA groups recently and thought about returning to 12 step program, found a woman who was ready to meet me and maybe be my sponsor. But i just canāt go there again. I donāt want to live by Big Book principles, i canāt get indoctrinated again, and i hope it is not my disease turning me away from recovery, but rather personal choice of a way to recovery. But i canāt see it unless i succeed any other way, and donāt want people to tell me i have the only choice - AA or death. I beleive there are more options.
I would like to ask the community, do you have any routine that helps you stay sober and comfort yourself? In AA i had calls to sponsor daily, wrote gratitude lists and prayed, now i rarely do this, i lack discipline. Also it is really stressfull time now and i often drink to feel at least some relief. How do you cope with stress and hard lonely times, what do you do?
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There is a variety of experience here.
Iām an AA guy but not radically so. I do pray you find a way that works for you. Alcoholic drinking will harm any of us and does kill some of us on a regular basis. And you know how fulfilling and beautiful a sober life can be. 
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Thank you! Exploring WFS today, found it in this list of resources
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Many roads to recovery, but the successful ones usually involve community. TS may be it. I also use AA locally and joined The Luckiest Club for virtual meetings. Iām at a place of great peace right now, and my community of sober peeps is a huge part of that.
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I can relate to trying all other means to quit moderation, get locked up, stay home, use so much till im blue in the face, nothing worked until i knew there was no other way out. It was either continuing on the dark miserable road in addiction or die. For me its the mental twist that thinking of i dont have a problem anymore when the problems start to arise again. Its all fun and games till someone gets hurt or killed then back to reality for a bit then to testing fate walking the line. A friend told me once its simple just dont drink, i never could just not drink. But further along my road to recovery i see the signs a little clearer now and i do have a choice, an i choose not to turn back down the dead end street i came from an all the addictions that have consumed a major part of my life. I cant do it alone i need people like everyone here to keep me reminded that my options are pretty simple i can live or i can die, if i keep working on being sober i get the chance to live and make things better for days to come. Find what works to help keep you on your path, wish you well glad you made it back here.
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Hi Tais, how are things?
Iāve been off the forum for awhile this month but getting back now; Iām catching up.
Thatās something I think a lot of us feel, off and on, as we recover. Anytime we change in life - anytime we learn something new - we use discipline to move forward.
Interesting - I looked up ādisciplineā in Russian: ŠŠøŃŃŠøŠæŠ»ŠøŠ½Š° - and it has (almost) the same pronunciation as in English. The two words probably have the same origins in Latin.
āDisciplineā, from Latin discipulus: pupil, student, follower. Someone whoās learning from others with more wisdom and experience.
Wise voices above me here have shared their learning journey and about the importance of community. I feel the same way. All the progress Iāve ever made in life has been with some type of community connection. Itās always been about some type of give and take in a group.
Did you try a WFS meeting? How did it go? Are there other things youāve been trying? Hope youāre safe and feeling ok about yourself.
Youāre a good person who deserves a safe, sober life where you can be your full self.
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Hi Matt, thanks for asking!
24 days sober now.
Since may 2021 iāve been in Sober One program, itās made by russian psychiatrist-narcologist, he plans to launch this app in America soon. And we have a chat of this recovering comunity, i didnāt write much in the chat in last months, but now try to integrate into that community. We share, we write weekly and sometimes daily journals, support each other, discuss things about recovery. I didnāt try WFS meetings yet, it might take time for me to get familiar with WFS, by now i only know they exist and what they do. And talking live in english for me is a bit challenging 
I am a little afraid to confess about it, you know, like i may seem to run away from recovery and hide. I donāt know.
Now what i do is everyday journaling in Sober One - did i drink, how much, what were the triggers if i wanted, what happened during the day, how i feel. Also every day i do tasks from this program and reach out to the chat, share and support.
It seems to be less powerful than 12step community, but at this moment seems to be enough.
What about your current routine? What do you do every day for your recovery?
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I have a counsellor at a sex addiction recovery clinic while I visit every two weeks, and that is helping, although honestly I am missing the group I used to attend. I attended a group for 1 year, every week, and it was the most connected I felt (it helped that everyone there was recovering from more or less the same thing).
However if I am honest I need to make some changes. I have struggled recently and I think the solution is to find more sobriety contacts, and engage with them, daily.
Talking Sober is helpful and is a wonderful community, but for me one on one conversations and especially in person (or at least telephone / chat) is by far the best way to stay connected.
I will search for more daily accountability. At the moment I am exploring online communities but I will also look at in person meetings in my city - something like SMART Recovery which is not specific for one addiction.
Thanks for asking Tais - I appreciate it. Im happy to hear youāve found Sober One. I lived in China for several years and I know how it feels to communicate across that language barrier. It is an additional barrier in an already difficult journey
Youāre a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life, where you can be your full self, with people who respect you for who you are. Have a good day tomorrow Tais!
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