We broke up over something dumb were a happy couple though but where ive screwed her over so much she thinks im still doing it i love her so much but she is so stuck on my past we cant move forward an she thinks she can disrespect me with crossing certain boundaries. I literally have nobody to talk to that was my only person.
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I’m sorry to hear that!
Do you have this sober app or other calendar to show her that you have also many clean days?
About having boundaries and their importance in relationships I could recommend “No more mr nice guy” by dr Robert Glover - don’t take this personally, I also had similar problem and still try to get rid some of these traits.
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I’m not trying to be harsh… but by breaking up it seems like she’s set her own boundaries. If moving on is what she wants, you need to respect that, as much as it hurts. Sometimes the hurt we inflict on others while in active addiction cannot be undone.
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People can forgive and forgive forever, but trust is something else. It’s only given once, after it is broken it is gone forever. As a recovering addict I might be able to make amends and recoup some of the trust with some people, but never all of it. Making amends to ex-partners for me entails staying sober and staying out of their lives. I first and foremost hurt myself, but damaged my partners too. After 15 years of separation from the mother of my son she expressed this week her fear when she came home not knowing in which state I would be. Luckily I’m doing the steps and have a sponsor to deal with these feelings. All the best, wish you a good recovery from addiction, things might then change also concerning your relationship with her, but most important in my opinion is the relationship with yourself. Like they used to say to me: everything you put in front of your recovery you’ll loose eventually. Whether I did loose it the same day in 2 days, in 1 months, 6 months, 1 year and/or 3 years, each time I lost it eventually (my son, partner, jobs, friends etc) 
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This is a very good book. I’m really glad you’ve read it along with Easy Peasy. My toxic shame was another root problem of mine along with the brainwashing.
I’m learning to process that now and that although I’m changing for the better now, I cant go back and change the past hurts that I inflicted
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