So why don’t you break it off with long-distance boyfriend and see where things go with this other guy? It seems like that’s where your heart is. Why are you afraid?
Your right. I mean he is an absolute sweetheart but his work consumes everything. Im going to give it until the end of this year when he is supposed to move and see if things improve
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I think its cause he is such a sweetheart and he is like my safety blanket. I talk to him everyday about almost everything and he has been so supportive of me and loving but his work definitely has consumed alot. Im afraid to lose him and then i will regret it. He seems like a person that dosent really forgive people too easily once they have left his life. My heart wants this other guy but i don’t know if i should trust my judgement right now seeing i could barely even stay sober for too long
I’m an ethical non-monogamist and I have two partners, and various intimate relationships with varying degrees of commitment. It gets stressful and overwhelming at times, and i relapsed five days ago partly due to me not dealing with my emotions.
I cant tell you what you should do but I can empathize with the loving multiple people part. Whatever you do, prioritize your sobriety- neither relationship will work well if you don’t.
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Thank you for the kind words. I can imagine things would be challenging for the both of us. But without sobriety you cannot make the best decisions and thats what im going to focus on
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Well everyone involved knows what is going on right? If that’s the case and no one is getting hurt then I don’t see why you would need to make any immediate decision anyway. Just make sure you are taking care of yourself and your sobriety first always. The rest will get sorted out eventually 
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My boyfriend knows but is not okay with it. The other guy dosent know so its pretty difficult. Im choosing to focus on me right now cause i cant make the best decisions drunk all of the time
Long distance relationship are just not good things to have. Relationships required trust. When the relationship is far apart then the unsurity comes along with the assumption that the other partner is probably with seeing other people too. Dating two people at once may seem alright at first but in reality ur tearing urself apart by trying to manages to lives at once. Its even worse if ur keeping it secret. Eventually the truth will come out and then neither man have that same amount of trust for u as they did before hand. If ur unsure than I suggest going with the guy who is most committed to u and isn’t just in it to get something out of u in return. Any man that respects u and is dedicated to spending time with you even though he might not share ur same interests is a good man. It all depends on what ur looking for.
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The best advice that I have had about relationships is that when looking for a partner you should look for someone that is different from u rather than the same. The idea of opposites attracting plays a part in this. Ur not only looking for someone to fulfill ur wants but also ur needs. And I’m not just talking financially. I’m talking about personal needs and character flaws. Let’s say ur a very shy person and the person u like is super outgoing and talkative. Even though ur personalities clash and u may get irritated with how differently u two think, there is a growth between u that creates balance. Being around the guy may helps u be more adventurous and open about how u feel. In turn, ur personality may help him learn to think more clearly before jumping to conclusions or help him get in touch with a more emotionally aware part of himself (which is really important in a relationship).
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When ur looking for a partner ur not just looking for a satifactory scence of pleasure and security. Essentially, u r looking for the other half of urself. Someone who is strong in the areas ur weakest. If u really take that into consideration u soon find that the guy for u was closer than u expect. He will most likely be exactly what u need and MORE than u could ever want.
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Looks are deceiving so dont just judge by how they talk or what they can do to please u. A lot of guys talk the talk but can’t ever walk when it comes down to commitment. Lol and I’m saying that as a guy.
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Wow thank you for that very insightful message. I know a relationship is difficult but i chose to just focus on me right now and not focus on any relationship. I am getting into my career, staying sober so that i can make better decisions and building my new life for me. Without that i cant be in a successful relationship anyway. I am reevaluating what i want out of life. I believe always being drunk led me to that path and its one i dont ever want to revisit.
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