In love with 2 people

I have a boyfriend that i love because he brings security, passionate love and trust and has supported me from day 1 the only issue is that we are in a long distance relationship

I also love this other guy because he brings fun and excitement, passionate :speak_no_evil::wink:, constant laughter and protector. The only issue is that he wants to be involved in every single aspect of my life all of the time.

I tend to lean toward the fun and excitement but dont know if im making a bad decision in the long run
Is it possible to be in love with 2 people ???

Now that im sober i have to deal with these emotions and thoughts and its hard. Any suggestions

One can be “in love” with 100 people, but that doesn’t make it love.


Yes i feel as if i love myself. It took a while to have love and self acceptance but i am learning more everyday through sobriety

Okay. I need to make a decision. But what makes it love?

I’m just going to be blunt have you told both of the other people about the other one. Or are you hiding one? Do you feel guilt or shame? If so then you have your answer but if that is not where you are at this point and just want to date both be honest about it. I for one know that I don’t want to share a person if I’m using a word like love to describe a feeling towards them.


How long have you been sober? Because this is a very easy way for you to relapse. You can love more than one person at a time but if you are knew to sobriety then I would worry more about yourself. Than anything just be careful .


Hi @lifejourney. Real love involves commitment. It’s a decision. And there are times when the feelings aren’t there. Two people stay devoted to one another even when it gets challenging.


Yeah the man that im dating at the moment for the longest found out about the other guy and he wasnt happy about it at all and he claims that he loves me but we have a long distance relationship and things are shaky because i don’t know if he will even make it here so i decided to keep my options open. I do feel guilt about the other guy but i feel so much happiness when im with him and i actually see a future there and i guess my current boyfriend brings more security as far as having a very comfortable life. I know i have to make a decision soon cause its not healthy to live this way

I had a 11 day stretch with sobriety and i had 2 beers and now back on day 4. I have not binge drinking anymore for a while but im trying to be completely sober. I am afraid the emotional turmoil will lead to relapese but im staying strong for my health. I definitely think that i need to focus on me since i am also going through a major life change with graduating college and trying to get into my career field and need to focus on my sobriety

Thank you. I think its cause i have a long distance relationship makes me feel like its not a real relationship anyway since i dont see my boyfriend very often. Right now i just graduated college and i need to focus on getting my career together and getting stable and completely sober before i even settle down

Are you sure you love your long distance bf? From reading what you wrote it sounds like you just like the idea of comfort and security that he can offer you, which is different than love. In my opinion, I do not believe you can truly love more than one person fully at a time(romantically speaking).Your heart will always love one more than the other. I think you can love different people, but not the kind of love you’re talking about. Love is being fully committed to someone, and that means 1 person. They are your lover, best friend, soul mate. I can’t imagine life without my boyfriend. He is the the yin to my yang. No one compares to him.


Fine line between love and lust, and I fully echo what @louwho has posted.


If I could love this a hundred times I would. Very well said.


I think that if you’re with one person and you begin to love another you dont really love the first person.Just how I see it.


Your right. I think im comfortable with my long distance boyfriend because everything is so easy when im around him and i can talk to him about everything and be myself but that passion and romance is missing from the relationship coupled with him not being around. And i guess im just tired of always having to travel to see him. I had to practically force him to fly where i live for this july. And he works alot and is very busy with his business. There are pros and cons to both but im scared that i actually love this other guy since i feel that spark and romance with him.


Your right. I think i am very attracted to this other guy but i guess i am just confused with wheter its just exciting to be around him or am i overly happy because we have an exciting romantic relationship. I dont know if its just im over thinking things because i have been the most sober for the first time in years. Thank you for your insight

Ive done long distance before and its so hard. I totally understand.He should be trying to come see you.passion is so important.
I hope you go with your heart and it works out.

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Yes i have been in this long distance relationship for like 3 years now and i travel 3x a year to see him because he owns very successful businesses. He was supposed to move to my state last year but now it seems like it will be alot longer to wait and its hard. And when he moves to my state he is opening a major business that will require him to work all day long. so i guess im scared he will not even have time for me and since he pays for everything right now he thinks that should keep me happy but i end up missing him alot and being lonely at the end of the day

And even when he comes to see me in July he scheduled work meeting for half the day everyday even though he will only be here for a week ugh .

You poor thing.Im so sorry .You deserve better than that.Money doesnt buy happiness, quality time is what he needs to be spending with you.
I think you’d be better off with someone who actually wants to be involved in your life and who makes time for you, of course leaving you room to be your own person and work on your sobriety.