In my own head

Emotional Support
1

just a venting post
I was sober for over 2 years and relapsed pretty bad for about 2 months. Alcohol is my poison and now I’m back on track in this sobriety journey. On the 20th I’ll reach one month and I’m getting stuck in my own head. The anger of “why me? Why can’t I just drink “normal”?” Then I feel shame for relapsing over doing so good and f’ing it up just because I felt like it and I missed the “fun” of it. Now I’m feeling like such a burden/failure which I know I’m not. I fled a DV situation almost a year ago and my life has gotten so much better. But with the ptsd from the abuse, I still get that little voice in my head telling me I’m not good enough, I just bother everyone and it makes me want to crawl in a hole. I know it’s all from the emotional withdrawals so I’m just trying to get out of this funk. These past few weeks I have been isolating myself a lot because I just feel like a burden, I feel 2nd place to others so I’ve just sort of secluded myself and have just hung out with my kids. I’m not sure what my point is here, just venting I guess since I haven’t reached out to anyone or my usuals because again, feeling like a bother to others. I’m just praying this emo sh!t passes. :disappointed:

9 Likes
2

Welcome to the group

Are you getting some counselling help at all?

And well done on one month!

2 Likes
3

Welcome to TS and thank you for sharing. There are lots of resources for recovery here, lots of support. Hope you stick around.

2 Likes
4

I’m so sorry to hear what you have been through! But you’ve got a lot of strength to get sober and stay that way for two years, don’t forget that achievement. Yes, you went back to it but you were strong enough to pull yourself out of that pit. You’re not less than! I admire your courage. I hope you have friends you can depend on, and keep reaching out here if it helps.

2 Likes
5

Yeah I am. Since October I’ve been in therapy and counseling once a week each and recently started DV group therapy. I’m definitely taking advantage of all the resources coming my way.

3 Likes
6

Thank you!

1 Like
7

Welcome to the community :raising_hand_woman:
I’m glad your getting some support, and now you have all of us too :pray:

1 Like
8

Hope the vent helped!!

A book I recently read that helped me is called Push Off From Here. You might find it helpful. It talks some about the ‘why can’t I drink’ feeling. Just a thought if you like to read.

I was in a DV situation years ago. :people_hugging: It can take awhile to find your self and strength again. Sobriety will help that so much. It made me whole. :heart::people_hugging::heart:

3 Likes