When i was 11 years old about in 2001 i saw marijuanna for the first time as my uncle was pulled away in cuffs on a sunny summer morning and was told “this is pot, stay away from it”.
When i was 13 my best friends were smoking it and i got curious. I smoked a bowl out of a platic bottle and i sat by the counter at there house in the kitchen with them moments after and while they geeked out i just thought it was boring.
Still at 13 i was at a fair and welcomedbmy girst pot deal. I spend the entier night at the fair looking for a deal. I met this older guy everyone thought was cool. He said , " give me the money, you can trust me and meet me at the entrence at the end of the night". As cops were everywhere doing there thing, i sawmy guy out of luck and gave him a high five and joyfully got in my parents car to go home while they had no idea. I went in the woods when i got home with my best friend and smoked out of this small one hitter. I got high for the first time ever in the woods in the middle of the night. I went back to my home with my besy friend and saw my siblings had friends over too. I geeked and got loud saying stupid things to my little sister thinking i was being funny. Looking back, i wasnt being funny and thats all i remember that night.
As time went on, i kept doing it and got disobedient and had new friends and got involved with alcohol also
I went to my first highschool part when i was in 7th grade in the woods. Freshmen got firewood and in return got beer. I got lots of firewood. I rember falling while getting some and someone found me laying there. They asked what i was doing and im not sure but i think i said , “i dont know” or, “laying down” or " getting firewood. Not sure. I do know i had a good bellyache. I continued to drink. There was a fight, we all had to leave the party. I fell down while i was leaving and broke a car side view marror. I couldnt get back up. I couldnt balance enough and i thought it was funny. My buddy tried hard to get me up and he did and 2 people walked me down the street back home and inside my home, my parent cought us i was told. I was 14 and so gone i couldnt stand on my own and my friend said, dont be mad, we drank alcohol. I didnt remember being home and the next morning really not knowing anything about the night be4 i woke up in my bed coverd in my bellys stomach acid. I had no clue why. It was all over the bed. It was a chilly sunny morning. I got up completely hung over and be4 doing anything i started to clean the bed. I was hung over for 2 days.
I turned 16 and got my own car. I hated going to drivers ed and faught aginst it but somehow i completely Aced the class. My driving was so hood the instructor always dropped md off back home when we went out group driving last, in the middle of the night. I was kinda a quick driver and he told my to slow down a lot but i nailed drivers ed even though i never wanted to go. I hot this old bout of a buick town car. It was red and white and big. This thing ssid im a trouble maker all over it. I continued to abuse my luck. My car broke down but eventually started back up and i had no idea why but the donuts in the rockey dirt parkenlot on the sunny summer aftetnoon were worth it. Me and a buddy in the frunt, 2 girls in the back and distroying a big car i got from my parents for free for Acing drivers ed. Eventuality it got totaled and the wheels completely bent because my last drive was a very rocky back and forth drive home in the middle of the night. It WAS a pretty cool car but it was cooler then me for sure.
I dropped out of school the 2nd day of 10th grade. I made sure i had weed. As a matter of fact i had more weed then someone might understand even like myself. I just kept getting it. 2nd day of 10th grade and on gor a year streight i was home alone by myself smoking as much weedcas i could completely alone. My family was too cool and i had 0 friends.i lost my mind to schizophrenia at age 16 in from constant idolation. I would go days not watching tv and not know i didnt watch tv. My phycocic started at around the end of my dropped out school year but i never told anyone but i bet they knew. I was tapped and scared of thoughts and no1 would have known why. Isolation, frear, lack of control , and a lot of cold rain later.. but i went months not addmitting anyone. I would meditatd and hope to stay safe while my family would br going things atound the house. Then came s chilly moring i went to my patents and said i got no sleep. Id like to try a phycward with my partner
15 phyc wards in 3 years +
I go to a terrible phyc ward. Their medical equipment said my temp was 68°. And for a fact it got shut down and patients got hurt by staff there.
Fast forward to today.
These past few months were bad. My meds gave me issues now im on newer and better and safer ones but the switch is slow and i ran out of patience and wigged at the dr after about 2months of nonstop mental stress and failing med. So i got what i wanted snd got my full dose of new med but they wanted to take me off the other slower. I wigged. It caued a issue and now im sleeping by myself tonight i hope just for tonight upstairs on a sofa chair, and my grandparent in laws prayed with me
I calmed down and will listen to all the dr and what they want me to do, med wise.
Ok im done writting
I fell asleep about 4 times while i wrote this
The point of the story
Your as bad as the world gets you.
Goodnight everyone