I’m with you. No, it’s not this woman’s fault he picked up a drink at all. But if she acted the way he described she’s still a dick in my book. Defo he needs to stand firm and guard his own interests better. But still it takes experience to sort the good folks from the ppl we shouldn’t have in our lives and sometimes making these experiences seriously sucks.
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But, if the guy was a, secure in his sobriety and b, secure in his own skin he would have just turned around and said “F**k off outta my live, I don’t need you!”
Which is why they say not to do things like this until at least a year has gone by so as we can and have worked through all the issues and know who we are in our new lifestyle.
At about 8 months I was feeling like I didn’t love my wife anymore and had made an escape plan and everything. But decided to not do anything and wait and see.
Now we are stronger than we have ever been.
But that’s just my take on it.
Other people’s mileage may vary
And also yes she was a dick, even more reason to say bye
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Did she tell you that drinking in front of you without you drinking made her uncomfortable? Or is it an assumption you made and acted on? Important question to ask. Either way, tailoring your behavior to make others “comfortable” won’t serve you well, especially in regards to sobriety. This is one thing you’ll need to be “selfish” about. If your sobriety makes someone else uncomfortable - that’s their problem, not yours.
Big red flag for me, personally. If she knew the reasons why you weren’t drinking (which, by the way, shouldn’t even matter - it should just be “I don’t drink”, and the rationale is really nobody’s business) - and then she consistently tried to get you to drink? Fuck that. If someone is trying to change you like that right from the start it says a lot. She knew why you weren’t drinking and still insisted that you do? Why? What difference does it make to her what you put into your body? Ultimately it’s you that has to deal with the consequences, no matter how much she assures you she’d “take care of you”. No, no, no. If she truly “liked you for who you are”, like she said, then she would not try to coerce you into doing something that is harmful to you. Period.
All of this to say - regardless of her pressing, whether you choose to drink or not is always on you. It is a choice, every single time.
So there are two things to look into here. One, seriously consider the company you keep. Do you really want to be around people who pressure you into doing things that you don’t want to do? Staying single for the time being while you get yourself together isn’t the worst thing in the world.
Two, look into your own response to this pressure, giving in. You, and only you, have a say in how you respond to external factors like people, places, things. Only you can put a drink to your lips. Take action and have a plan to set yourself up for success next time temptation comes calling.
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Taking a year of from relationships is something I really need to consider. To be honest I probably self sabotage with the women I pick unfortunately. That’s something i need to really look at
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These are teachable moments for not only the OP, but people in general. For the OP I hope you can see now that sobriety has to come first. Especially the first year or two. It’s tough enough without people pressuring you to drink. Going forward maybe you can reconsider your priorities around dating and sobriety.
For the rest of the readers let this serve as a good reminder why jumping into a relationship this early in sobriety is just not a great idea. As @Girlinterrupted mentioned, dating in general can be stressful. Now throw in the nerves, vulnerability, insecurities and downright misery of early sobriety and you have a recipe for a relapse. I’m not saying everyone with three months sober who enters a relationship is going to relapse, but the majority probably will.
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Thank you for the kind words I appreciate it. I like what you said about every decision being only up to me. I’m big on taking responsibility for my actions. I’ve always owned up to my mistakes. I need to look closer at all my decisions I make even the small ones. This was something that I’m sure could have been prevented. Everything affects everything right.
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I hope someone here can learn from my mistake and avoid relapse. I wanted a relationship and to be sober but it taught me a big lesson that I cant have everything I want. I had to learn the hard way.
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Hello. No worries.
Take the lesson, but don’t be too hard on yourself either. There is no blame in wanting to have a relationship. I was seekig a love as well. So I know how it feels… 
I wish you best. Hope you’re doing well 
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I glad you ended that relationship. She’s a horrible person. My mind is boggled that a person would actively try to sabotage someone’s sobriety
I highly recommend that you don’t start a new relationship again until you have more time.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
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is poison in the beginning. Now you know. Learn and move forward.
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I wish you the best also. Hope we can all find what we’re looking for in both love and sobriety
How are you doing today?